What He's Really Thinking When...

In her latest book, What Men Say, What Women Hear: Bridging The Communication Gap One Conversation At A Time psychologist Linda Papadopoulos uses CBT (Cognitive Brain Therapy) to try and explain why when a guy says he’ll call you, he won’t, or why your hubby says he’ll help clean-up, but two minutes later, forgets he said it. We cut to the chase and went directly to the source! Here, seven guys share the truth on what’s going on in their heads...

1. On A first date...
Karan: “I believe first impressions are the last ones, so I’m usually hoping I clear this one because it’s free sailing after this!”
Rhythm: “‘Wow you’re so pretty...and now I’m so distracted I can’t think of anything interesting to say’.”
Rahul: “‘We should’ve just gone for a movie—no conversation required’.”

2. The first time HE SEES YOU naked...
Rahul: “If I’m stopping to think right now, either I’m thinking I don’t deserve you or your aren’t hot enough.”
Anupam: “Actions speak louder than words...or thoughts! If any guy says otherwise, he’s lying.”
Chandan: “‘Score! It’s time to make your toes curl’.”

3. When another guy is flirting with you...
Rhythm: “Red hot jealously; I’m out of here before any injuries are sustained.”
Rahul: “‘Best of luck dude! You’re wasting your time cause she’s going home with me. Ha!’”
Anupam: “I’m a pretty good flirt, so nothing this guy does is going to intimidate me. It if does, I’ll walk right in and outdo him.”

4. The first time he says ‘I love you’...
Anand: “‘You’d better say it back or this isn’t going to end well...’”
Siddhant: “Wait...did I say it a little too soon?”
Rahul: “‘I hope I don’t scare you off because I really do love you’.”

5. The first time you say ‘I love you’ ...
Karan: “If the relationship is serious for me, I’m delighted! If it’s just a fling, umm...thank you?”
Anand: “‘Uh-oh. She probably wants me to say it back. This could get awkward’.”
Chandan: “‘Woah! You’re getting some super hot foreplay tonight, woman!’”

6. When you ask for a break...
Anupam: “I’m already thinking about that other girl I’ve always fancied and wonder if the ‘We were on a break’ argument would work.”
Rahul: “Guess you’ve found another guy and that means it’s time I looked for another girl.”

Chandan: “‘You want a break eh? You’re probably going to regret this soon’.”

7. When you spend your entire month’s salary on A DESIGNER BAG...
Chandan: “It’s your money so do what you want with it. I’m happy that it makes you happy. Just don’t expect me to cover for you, because I wont.”
Siddhant: “‘Sheesh! Get a grip! What are you going to eat for the rest of the month?’”
Anupam: “I think of spending mine on a solo backpacking trip. I’m also making a mental note for our next ‘We need to save’ chat.”

8. When you share a sex fantasy with him...
Siddhant: “If it’s something sexy—ooh yeah! If it’s freaky, it can get a bit weird, and make me wonder where the idea came from.”
Anand: “As long as it doesn’t involve other men, I’m excited!”
Anupam: “I’m already playing it out in my head. Let’s get to it!”

9. When you say You’re ‘not in the mood, tonight’...
Anand: “How about a cuddle?”
Siddhant: “This is not cool because it doesn’t work the other way around.”
Rahul: “Will a massage/scented candle work? No? I guess I’ll just wait till morning, then.”

10. When he sees that you’re crying...
Chandan: “Please don’t cry because it pains me to see you upset, but please don’t stop because how can anyone be this cute?!”
Karan: “How do I fix this? If you’re crying because of me, I should probably make a run for it. That’ll make you feel better, right?”
Anupam: “I’m thinking of what to say to turn your mood around.”

11. When you’re complaining about the bad day you had...
Rahul: “Is it PMS? Should I be grabbing the wine?” 
Rhythm: “I’m listening because I’ll expect the same from you when I’m having a crappy day.”
Karan: “Chances are, you’ll be talking about something that completely disinterests me and here’s when the ‘I’m listening!’ card comes into play. Both parties are happy!”

12. When you want to discuss the future...
Siddhant: “How about we live in the present and let the future unfold itself.”
Karan: “Red alert! I actively avoid such conversations, and if I can’t, I’ll just say I’m listening and will discuss it soon.”
Anand: “Wait...what?! We’ve only been dating for like two days!”

13. When he says, ‘No, I’m listening!’ ...
Rhythm: “I’m only listening to you because you’re angry right now and probably need to vent.”

Chandan: “98% of the time I really am listening. The other 2%, I’m falling asleep and you can’t blame me! This is absolutely 100% true.”
Siddhant: “I really am listening!”

14. Before he pops the question...
Anupam: “There’s no better time than this to blank out and not think.” 
Chandan: “A lot of intensity. God I love your eyes, your nose, your smile, our babies together...”

 

The Panel

Chandan Raina, 28, Musician and Concert Producer
Karan Chopra, 24, Entrepeneur
Anupam Sarkar, 28, Independent Filmmaker 
Rahul Karan Batra 29, Theatre Actor 

Anand Kak, 25, Risk Assessment Manager
Siddhant Trehan, 23, General Physician
Rhythm Datta, 26, Journalist