The Lady’s Guide To Morning-Sex Etiquette

Here's how to able to fit in a quickie before your morning coffee.

Crush any obstacle that lies between you and your am orgasm.

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What if one (or both) of us is too lazy to brush our teeth?
There are two big ways to avoid the precoital Colgate: sex positions where you don’t face each other and mutual oral. Alternatively, just embrace the morning breath. We’re all human.

But it’s super-bright in the morning! We can see evvvvverything.

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Yep. And guess what? Ladies like to ogle too—the 2012 Nielsen/Net Ratings found 1 in 3 visitors to porn sites is female. But if you’re not into all that ‘seeing’, just keep the blinds shut. NBD!

Eww. Shouldn’t we shower first?

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According to a University of California at Berkeley study, male underarm musk is a natural libido booster for women. On the other hand, a warm shower makes blood rush to the surface of the skin, making it extra-tingly. Your call!

What if I look super-sh*tty in the morning because I don’t #WakeUpLikeThis?

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None of us do, unless you pull Kristen Wiig’s pretend-sleeping-in-full-make-up move in Bridesmaids. (Oh, girl!) If he doesn’t get it, he is not worth wasting a morning bang sesh on.


This article was originally published in the August 2015 issue of Cosmopolitan India.