What Type of Mother-Daughter Relationship Do You Have?

Whether you like it or not, the older you get, the more you come to realise exactly how much your mother shaped your journey into womanhood. “No relationship is quite as primal as the one between a mother and her daughter,” says Mary Magalotti, principal psychologist at Life Resolutions Consultancy. “It’s the original relationship.”
As basic as this equation is, it’s often riddled with problems and quirks, and is quite complex to say the least. While no two mother-daughter stories are alike, many of us can relate to at least one ‘typical’ bond.
Take a cue from these celebrity mums and daughters to find out which duo you can relate to most and, more importantly, how you can learn to get on better with the most influential woman in your life. 

The Best Friends
You’re as close as can be. BFFs!

Whether they’re out for a girl’s night, gracing front rows at fashion week or supporting each other’s work, it’s clear designers and mother-daughter duo Neeta and Nishka Lulla benefit from their cosy relationship. “A close relationship with your mum can simulate friendship through characteristics like empathy, listening, loyalty and caring,” reveals Magalotti. However, there are some topics of conversation and areas of your life and hers, that should remain taboo. “If your mum over-shares, it’s important that you let her know how you feel,” says relationship counsellor Kellie Miles (bondicounselling.com.au). “Try making a ‘too much information’ list, in which you name the subjects you feel aren’t appropriate.” This ensures some boundaries, which is important for every relationship. Once your lines are in place, this will (probably) become the most comforting and secure bond that you will share, ever.

 

The Role Reversal
When your mum looks to you for support

As Demi Moore dealt with the breakdown of her marriage, it was her daughter Rumer who rushed to help—she called 911 after the actress dramatically collapsed this January. We all want to help our mums in their time of need, but if she’s become dependent on you, choosing to step back is understandable. “Think about how badly it affects you,” says Miles. “If you’re tired of a situation, it could be helpful to identify what you might be doing to keep the pattern in place. Perhaps you feel guilty or responsible, or is it that you like being needed? If any of these resonate, think about why this is the case. Journaling can be a good way to find answers.” Counselling is another option you may wish to consider.

The Train Wreck
It’s a rocky road, and it always has been

When Frances Bean Cobain decided to get a restraining order against her mother Courtney Love in 2009, it seemed their relationship could hardly have been worse.  Mothers and daughters frequently fight,” says clinical psychologist Renee Mill (reneemill.com) “But it only becomes a feud when a mother is not able to ‘contain’ the conflict.”
Magalotti adds, “When communication has broken down between mother and daughter, a lot of damage can be done. Both mother and daughter feel that the other doesn’t understand. “The feud-style relationship can sometimes be rectified in later years if both mother and daughter value their relationship, and have a level of maturity that enables them to leave the past in the past.”

The Pushy Parent
She rules the roost, no question; it’s always her way

Whether she’s being overzealous or encouraging her pretty daughters into yet more money-making schemes, Hollywood mum Kris Jenner has certainly shaped herself as a pushy parent. But while it’s great to have a mum who cares about you, there’s a fine line between nurturing and interfering. “If your mum is in the habit of telling you what to do, it’s good to remember she means well and wants the best for you,” says Miles. “So, hear her out and listen with an open mind—then thank her and say you’ll think about what she’s said.” Consider her advice, however you do need to learn to stand your ground if your ideals differ from hers.

The Normal Mum
She’s nurtured and loved you from day one

Actress Neena Gupta has done a great job raising her now-famous daughter—Masaba, shielding her from the limelight and any scandal that could have hurt her. If you’re blessed with a mother who has been supportive, no matter what, and has made you feel loved and cherished, offering unimposing wisdom on emotions and relationships—then don’t forget to thank her! “If she acts in loving and respectful ways, supporting your decisions even when she may not entirely understand where you are
coming from, consider yourself extremely lucky.” says Miles. “Find special and unique ways to let your mum know you value her. Loving feedback and openness between a mum and her daughter help strengthen and nourish their relationship—even when it’s already going so well.”