Chris* was everything his Tinder photos promised – handsome with muscles bulging in all the right places. He had a glint in his eye that told me straight away he had a kinky edge. I knew sex with him would be wild, but I never would have guessed that his biggest sexual fantasy didn't involve him doing anything.
We'd been dating for a fortnight when he let slip how much it turned him on to imagine me sleeping with another guy while he looked on. It was the thought of me orgasming from that man's penis (and the raging jealousy he would then feel) that got him off. "Hey, there's a fetish for everything," he said. "This one is called cuckolding."
At that point, I wasn't ready to act out his fantasy - I just didn't like the idea of it. I wanted to have sex with Chris and Chris alone. But I could describe to him stories of sex with other men - I'd always been into dirty talk.
One night, I reminisced about sex with my ex, who had a massive penis. I described how we once did it on the hood of his car and that he'd plunged himself into me with such force that I screamed. The story turned Chris on so much, he came almost immediately.
After a few months of sex narrated by my fantasies, Chris suggested we visit a swinger's club. I've always been up for trying out new things - and it had really turned me on how much he got off on my dirty talk. So, once we'd decided that we'd go but leave if I found it uncomfortable, I agreed.
That night (after necking a few wines) I got all dressed up in a pair of black garter stockings, a miniskirt and sheer bra, so that my nipples showed through my lace blouse. On sight of me, Chris groaned, “Every man here will want to fuck you.”
The smell of sex was in the air – a weirdly appealing mix of BO and sweat. We got gin and tonics at the bar and made the rounds until I spotted a man with a shoulder tattoo in his late thirties who I thought was really attractive. As Chris took a step back, I approached him and invited him with us into one of the private rooms.
Things heated up fast. Grasping at my breasts, the stranger sucked my nipples, before making his way down to the black crotchless pants I'd bought for the occasion. He began fingering me, before gently licking my clitoris. The whole time my eyes were glued on Chris, as he stroked himself through his jeans.
The tattooed guy then stood up to pull off his boxers, exposing an enormous erection. 'This will drive Chris wild,' I thought. My boyfriend grinned his approval. Then the stranger put on a condom before climbing on top of me. He was thicker than I'd imagined and, as his thrusts became more frenzied, Chris began masturbating just a few feet away.
I felt like I was the star of my own porno film and started playing it up for the 'camera', reaching for the man's bum, pulling him deeper inside me, all the while bucking and moaning loudly, as I threw my head back.
With his hips pressing into mine – and Chris lapping up every detail of my performance – I shuddered all over as I orgasmed. Shortly after, the man came (and left), and Chris took me by the hand, leading me into another room. He pinned me up against a wall, kissing me passionately, telling me how much he wanted me. We did it doggy-style and both came within seconds.
Since then, Chris and I have been back to the club six times. Being a part of someone's fantasy can be risky, but the act leaves me feeling more desirable than ever, and empowered, knowing I have absolute control over my boyfriend's pleasure.
*Names have been changed.
This article was originally published in Cosmopolitan UK and has been updated.