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I'm Using Tinder to Find the Love of My Life, But, Like, I Need Your Help

Seriously, advice appreciated.

I’ve always had trouble with dating apps. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not attracting the right guy, or the right guy is the match I don’t want. And other times, I go on terrible first dates, or just swipe so matches can tell me I’m pretty.

After three years of consistently deleting and redownloading online dating apps (I call each choice "self-care"), I still find myself stuck in a never-ending spiral of flip-floppy feelings, a la Tay Swift's greatest hits.

The other night, though, is when I really hit my low-point. Exasperated, I went out and bought a chocolate shake on the coldest day of the year in New York City so that strangers had to come up to talk to me. Because what kind of crazy fights a snowstorm with ice cream in her hand? (It totally worked, btw, but like I said: Low point.)

Luckily, Tinder has offered to intervene for the sake of my sanity... and because risking frostbite in the name of finding love is just dumb. With the help of Tinder's resident dating and relationship expert, Darcy Sterling, PhD, their hope is that I can find a man on their app who's fit enough to workout with me, but dad bod enough to occasionally suggest pizza instead.

Dr. Darcy's first suggestion? Since I've kinda blown it in NYC (See: Wendy's actual frostbite incident of 2019), I should try getting out of town and seeing who else is out there in other cities using Tinder Passport. It’s a feature Tinder Premium offers, which allows you to swipe right on people in other locations besides your own.

Now, as for which cities I should choose to look for matches in?

Well, as a Midwestern girl at heart, I'm not the type of person who is going to put in my Air Pods and ignore strangers on the subway when they ask me for directions. I think part of me does have a little southern hospitality inside, despite the fact that I grew up in a Kansas suburb with no farm and zero history of riding horses.

And I found my love for Southern culture—including the sexy men and their enticing Southern draws—when I went to college in Nashville. So, I chose to include Charleston as a contender since I seem to have a thing for men from the South.

As for a second city to peek around in, I'm not much of a West Coast gal, but Seattle has always had some sort of appeal to me. It's very important to me that I date someone who I feel intellectually-stimulated by, and since Seattle houses young Microsoft professionals—hello future Bill Gates of the world—I'm down to scope out the talent.

TL;DR: Tinder has offered to fly me to ONE of these cities to see if my Passport Matches are indeed the answer to the dating app nightmare I've been living.

So, I could really use your help in choosing between the two. Which do you think I'll have the most luck finding my person: Charleston or Seattle?

In exchange, I'll be sharing with you all of Dr. Darcy's tips for making my profile legit GOLD and really hitting it off with matches from miles away. So...

Thanks, y'all. My love life is in your hands... NBD!

 

Follow along with my journey on Cosmopolitan and/or on Instagram here.