Much like an assortment of chocolates, orgasms come in all different shapes and sizes. Stimulating different parts of your body can result in a variety of orgasmic sensations, and one of those parts of the body just so happens to be the booty.
"An anal orgasm is an orgasm that results from stimulation of the butt cheeks, anal opening, rectum, and prostate (if present),” says Kait Scalisi, MPH, certified sex educator and founder of Passion by Kait. “There are countless ways to stimulate the butt that could lead to the experience of orgasm and every body experiences sensation and pleasure differently.”
So when you're ready to take your orgasm to new heights (orrrr holes—sorry!), here are the very best tips for achieving an anal orgasm.
1. Get in the right mindset.
Just like any other sort of orgasm, getting out of your own head is key to achieving an anal orgasm. “If you're running a script in your mind about the pain you're going to experience during anal sex, then that's probably exactly how you will experience it," says pleasure coach Tyomi Morgan.
Remember that you have power over your pleasure and over your anus, so be conscious of how your anus is responding to your partner's touches and control the relaxation of your anal sphincter muscles by relaxing. "The more you can release the idea of your anus being a forbidden, dirty place, the easier it will be to relax into the pleasure of anal stimulation without shame," says Morgan.
2. Lube is your lifeline—and so essential!
Any sort of anal penetration will not be enjoyable without any sort of lubrication. “When you think you've used enough, add a little more! The booty doesn't produce any lube on its own," says Scalisi. And lube not only protects you from irritation and small tears, it also heightens the sensation from every lick, stroke, and thrust.
So how do you go about applying the lube to your anal area? Insert lube into the anus using a lube tube, or apply the lubricant to the outside of the anus and onto the surface of your toy or partner's peen,” explains Morgan.
3. Start by practicing with fingers and finger-sized toys.
When it comes to anal penetration, it’s best to start small. “Use fingers and toys that are ‘finger width’ to introduce stimulation to the anus,” suggests Morgan. “Sometimes friction on the opening of the anus can be enough to produce orgasms.
Massaging the anus with the tip of any finger (index or thumbs are typical) creates ease in being penetrated without the idea of having to receive the fullness of your partner's girth. More fingers can be added if you feel you're ready for more pressure.
4. Communicate with your partner.
Communication is the key to pretty much everything, and anal sex is no exception. “Be vocal about what you are feeling and what you need," says Morgan. As the person being penetrated, you should be communicating often since your partner can not feel what you are experiencing. So, if something feels uncomfortable, let it be known in a gentle way. "Make requests of your partner and be patient because anal penetration can take some time to get it right,” advises Morgan.
Morgan suggests saying things like “can you ease in more slowly please?” and insists that mustering the courage to be vocal about your desires is key in achieving orgasm. "The more you speak up and ask for what you need, the more empowered you will feel over your body,” she explains. “With empowerment comes liberation and the ability to RELAX into the decisions you're making knowing that your safety is pleasure is being placed as a priority.”
5. Pay a little extra attention to the butthole.
Think of the butthole as the clit or the G-Spot of the anus. “The majority of the nerve endings are around the anal opening,” says Scalisi. “Focus there, whether you're using your fingers, mouth, or a vibrator. If using a toy, only put ones in the butt that have a flared base—called a flange—so they don't get lost up there.”
6. Take deep breaths.
Even if you don’t think you hold your breath during sex, there’s still a pretty big chance you’re doing it. “Be aware of your breathing during your anal experience and remember to breathe deeply and send that breath down to your anus,” says Morgan.
Take deep breaths and allow your body to relax into the feeling of anal stimulation, without judgment. Observe how your anal sphincters become looser and more willing to allow your partner to enter. The more you breathe and relax into the stimulation, the easier it will become for you to reach orgasm says Morgan.
7. Relax your anus.
“When you tighten or pull in your anus, the sphincters are fully engaged and will not allow penetration to occur. When you relax your sphincters and let your anus ‘hang out,’ the force created by the sphincters is reduced, allowing your partner to come in without resistance.
Training your sphincters to relax is the key to anal pleasure. Your sphincters will naturally have the response of tightening as your partner penetrates deeper, and when you feel that happening, breathe deeper, relax, and let it go. Anal plugs can assist with training your sphincters to relax, so don't be afraid to let go and experience your anal orgasm.
8. Combine anal with vaginal or penile stimulation.
As if anal orgasms weren’t great enough on their own, Scalisi says there’s a way to up your pleasure even more. “Put a butt plug or anal beads in during other forms of sex play, whether that's intercourse, oral sex, or hand play, and pull it out as the person experiences orgasm to double their pleasure,” she suggests. “That's because the pudendal nerve, which runs through the clitoris and tip of the penis, also has a branch that goes through through the anus. If the receiver has a prostate, look for a plug that is curved down to massage it.”
So, how do you know if you’ve actually made it to the finish line and achieved an anal orgasm?
Well, it feels a lot like every other kind of orgasm. “With anal play, you'll experience a build-up of tension accompanied by an increase in heart rate and breathing,” explains Scalisi. “During the experience of orgasm, there's often a sensation of release as well as fluttering of the pelvic floor muscles. Yes, the same muscles that get discussed for childbirth and peeing also run through the anus.”
Here’s to experiencing all the orgasms ladies, you are worth it!