Sadly, there are still so many myths and misconceptions surrounding bisexuality. One of the most prevalent, is that when a cis bi woman's in a relationship with a cis guy, she's no longer bisexual. FYI, when a bi woman has a male, non-binary, or trans partner, that doesn't change their sexuality. They're still (always) bisexual if that's how they label themselves.
But what if you're with a guy in what is perceived to be a heterosexual relationship, and you 'come out' to them? A recent Reddit thread delved into this, asking bi women to share their stories. Here, 10 women explain what coming out to their partner was like.
1. "I said, 'Hey, don't freak out or anything because I'm still just as in love with and committed to you as I've ever been, but... I'm pretty sure I'm also attracted to women.' He said, 'Okay cool' and we continued eating dinner."
2. "He said he knew that was something he could never give me, that it would be okay for me to pursue something. Difficult to find anyone okay with that type of situation with a married woman, understandably, so nothing happens essentially. But at least I was honest and we talked about it!"
3. "My first boyfriend? 'I don't think you are, I just don't think you are.' He was laughing at me. My second? 'Oh okay.' He does get weirdly jealous though if I compliment a girl too much, and sometimes it makes me a bit insecure. I'm not openly bisexual and I don't talk about it a lot so it's very strange for me."
4. "The last few guys that I came out to during a relationship took it as me wanting a threesome. I didn't stay with them for very long as they kept bringing it up and asking if some of my friends would be down. In the past month or two, I'm a lot more up front about my sexuality before I start dating people. The second someone starts saying something along the lines of, 'ohmygod that's so hawt', I don't interact with them."
5. "I had always made comments in passing, but I think he always assumed I was joking or whatever. Finally, I sat him down and had the big, 'no really, this is something I identify as' talk, and he was great about it. We’re married now and monogamous, but we have fun pointing out hot women to each other."
6. "He said, 'I know'."
7. "I got this [as above] response too. It was both comforting and disappointing—it was an indication that they knew me well, but I wanted them to be as excited as I was about it."
8. "Mine was thrilled. Apparently he had secretly hoped this. But also he was excited that I discovered a new side of myself, and he enjoyed watching that happen. We opened up our marriage. It's not for everyone but it works for us."
The stripes on the bisexual pride flag are intended to represent the communities where bisexuals can be found. Gay, bi, straight.— The Bisexual Index (@bisexualindex) March 3, 2018
Not "bi people are the middle stripe only". pic.twitter.com/F8Pwk9IZKF
9. "My husband says, looking back, we both should have known, but a very religious upbringing does that to you. I think it makes him a little self conscious. When he is drunk, he will ask me a lot of questions about it, but never sober. I think he is a little nervous. I would love to bring a woman into the bedroom but I don't think he would be down."
10. "It went badly. The insecurity about me having male friends was then extended to me having friends. Oh boy."