Cosmo Answers 100 Relationship Questions That Everyone Asks




1 It's been four days since the date, and he hasn't called. Is he not into it?

Maybe. E-mail and say you had a great time. If he doesn't take the bait, move on mentally.

2 How do I keep my husband's little quirks from driving me crazy?

Focus on the flip side. For example, if he's messy, be happy he's laid-back and not superanal.

3 Why does he always text back after I leave him a voice mail?

Men's goal is "fast," so to them, it's the most direct way to stay in touch with you.

4 When can I start leaving stuff at his place?

When you're consistently staying over for consecutive nights. Start small…like with a toothbrush.

5 I think his friends are a bad influence. What can I do?

Nada. Men are loyal to their buds. What matters is that his behaviour doesn't change around them.

6 How important is it that I get along with my hubby's mom?

It's crucial. But don't struggle to be BFFs; just friendly and respectful will do.

7 He never plans anything. How do I get him to step up?

Take him on a date he'll love, like to a sporting event. Then suggest alternating organising nights out.

8 It's been five years and he hasn't proposed to me yet. Bad sign?

Not always. Unless you spell out when you expect that ring, he'll assume you're okay with the status quo.

9 He still hangs out with his ex. Should I worry?

Not so long as he includes you when they get together.

10 Should I play hard to get even if we've been dating for a few years?

Sometimes. It maintains a sense of mystery that keeps him panting.

11 He never admits he's wrong. How can I change that?

Make a playful bet on the right answer, like winner gets a massage, so he'll have to fess up.

12 Our work schedules conflict. Are we doomed?

No. If you max out your time together, it's an opportunity to show how committed you are.

13 What can I say to break the ice with a guy?

"Hi, my name is _______." Then compliment something, like the colour of his shirt on him.

14 My mom doesn't like him. Should I listen to her?

If her opinion is backed up by your best friend, brother, and co-worker, then yes.

15 When I ask his opinion on wedding plans, he says "It doesn't matter." Why?

He cares about the big day-he just doesn't get psyched about the details, like napkin patterns.

16 I went to college; he didn't. Can it still work?

If you admire his intelligence and drive, then his degree level doesn't matter.

17 How can I get out of a dry spell?

Ask three people from different social circles-e.g., a friend, a co-worker, a sibling-to set you up with someone.

18 He wants to get married, but I'm in no rush. I love him, so what should I do?

Give him a timeline that you're comfortable with so he knows you're serious about the future.

19 He parties too much for me. Keep him or ditch him?

Tell him you're into more low-key nights. If he doesn't mellow, he's not the guy for you.

20 Do ultimatums work?

They can. But give one only if you're positive you won't wimp out and not follow through.

21 I always check my husband's Facebook profile. Weird?

No, but you live with the guy-do you really need to read his status updates?

22 Is it okay to ask questions about his ex?

Yes-the basics, like how long they dated.

23 Do guys play hard to get?

Not really. When a man acts uninterested, he usually is.

24 Can friends with benefits work?

Yeah, but once one person develops feelings-and it does happen- you must either date or cut ties.

25 How can I tell if I like the sex more than I like him?

If you text him only between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m.

26 He doesn't want kids, but I do. Should I walk away now?

If you just started dating, no. But if you're considering marriage and it's a deal breaker, yes.

27 What's a guaranteed way to impress his friends?

On his guys' night, call the pub they're at and tell the bartender their first round is on you.

28 What's the best way to break up with him?

Lead with a compliment: "You're an amazing person, but I don't think we're right for each other."

29 I said "I love you," but he hasn't said it back. Bad sign?

Not if he continues to reference your future, like planning a vacation. Otherwise, his feelings

aren't there.

30 He is moody but won't tell me what's up. How do I get him to spill?

Say "You seem bummed. I'm here to listen." He'll be more likely to come around on his own terms.

31 I feel like the spark is gone. Should we break up?

Sometimes you're just in a rut. Go on adventurous dates, try new stuff in bed, and re-evaluate in a month.

32 What's the secret to making a long-distance relationship work?

Communicating daily, even if it's just a quick e-mail.

33 How can we rebound after a fight?

Resist that urge to rehash events, and touch him. A simple back scratch says you're still tight.

34 I attract guys who turn out to be d-bags. Why can't I find a good one?

You're choosing them, so you have a hard time seeing red flags. Enlist a friend to point them out.

35 How long should we date before living together?

A year at least.

36 Is it true that once a cheater, always a cheater?

Generally, yes. Unless he articulates why he did it and is genuinely remorseful, be wary.

37 Is snooping ever okay?

No. It means something crucial is lacking, like communication.

38 We've been dating for a while, but I still haven't met his friends. Why not?

He's probably not thinking longterm. Most men need the thumbs-up from their buddies before they get serious.

39 What is the best way to get over an ex?

Giving it time. And replacing his number with a friend's in your cell, so when you call, you reach her.

40 His friends' girlfriends are cliquey. How do I break into their inner circle?

Invite them to a girls' night. Make it a wine tasting-they'll loosen up.

41 I like my guy friend. How do I make a move without freaking him out?

Gradually be more flirtatious, like by touching his leg as you talk. Then gauge his reaction.

42 Do guys kiss and tell?

Men bond by doing stuff, not by talking, so your sex life isn't being dissected.

43 I cheated, but I want to stay together. Do I confess?

No. Figure out why you did it, then put your effort into fixing that aspect of the relationship.

44 We've been dating for a year. Can I bring up marriage?

Sure. Ask a no-pressure hypothetical, like "Who do you think will be your best man?"

45 My husband's a morning person, and I'm not. How do we get in sync?

Each week, try going to bed 10 minutes earlier, and have him stay up 10 minutes later.

46 He started losing some hair. Okay to bring it up?

No. Would you want him to tell you if your boobs started to sag?

47 He's in his early 20s, and I'm in my mid-30s. Can it work?

Yes, if you aren't living different lifestyles and if you have similar goals.

48 Why does he think it's okay to tease my friends?

Men relate by trashing each other, so it's instinctively how he connects with your pals.

49 What does it really mean if he says "I need some space"?

"I want to break up but am too chicken to tell you that."

50 I say "I love you" daily, but my husband doesn't. Why?

Men don't verbalise their feelings; they show them. As long as he's doing that, you're good.

51 He says he's not ready for a relationship. Will he change his mind?

Probably not. You might want to set a deadline and ask him one last time.

52 He asked how many men I've slept with. What can I say that's not specific?

"Well, my number is more than Mother Teresa's but less than Warren Beatty's." He will probably break into a laugh and won't ask you ever again.

53 What's the best way for him to meet my mom and dad?

Invite him to do something low-key with them, like grab coffee, and keep it under an hour.

54 Is it healthy to never fight?

Yes, if you still acknowledge and talk out disagreements and don't behave as if they don't exist.

55 He gave me his number. When should I call?

After 48 hours. Any later and it's a ploy; any earlier and it's desperate.

56 I always end up in the friend zone. Why don't guys see me as girlfriend material?

You're unknowingly giving a just-friends vibe to avoid rejection. Flirt more-what feels way "obvious" is likely spot-on.

57 We break up and get back together often. Is that normal?

No. Breakups happen because something's broken. Fix whatever it is or move on.

58 Should I end up with my opposite or someone who's similar?

Neither. Ideally, your values (beliefs, goals) are the same, but your personalities are complementary (he's introverted and you're extroverted).

59 He has a "work wife" and talks about her a ton. Should I worry?

Maybe. Suggest a group happy hour. If he backpedals, he could be into her.

60 How can I tell if he's husband material?

Observe how he treats his family, friends, and co-workers. He should be consistently respectful and loyal.

61 Why does he give one-word answers-is it just a dude thing?

Yeah, but it's also a lazy thing. Call him out on it when it's an important convo.

62 How do I know if he's not over his ex?

Top three signs: He compares you to her, he's in a rush to get serious, or he trash-talks her.

63 How many dates should I go on before sleeping with him?

Four is a good number.

64 I love him, but I have doubts. Normal?

Second-guessing is natural, but if they are nagging, pay attention.

65 He jokes during serious talks. Why?

It's a defense mechanism, and he's buying time to figure out what he really should be saying.

66 We hang out, but he leaves at night instead of staying over. Does that mean he sees our time together as a booty call?


67 He's been engaged once before. Red flag?

It's probably a good thing: He does want to get married, just to the right girl, and hopefully, that's you.

68 How do I up my chances of a second date?

Forget there might be one. You'll have more fun and be more engaging. He'll call you back that way.

69 He does the schmoopy baby-talk thing. It's annoying. How do I get him to stop?

Turn it into a joke. Try repeating this line from Forgetting Sarah Marshall: "I can see your vagina from here!"

70 What are the rules for dating someone at work?

Go for it if he's a peer. If he's above or below you, check company policy and proceed cautiously.

71 Why did he take my number and not call?

He wanted the ego boost, not you.

72 He has a jealous streak. How do I get him to relax?

Tell him sweetly that it bums you out since it feels like he doesn't trust you.

73 Why can he remember every World Series winner but not our first date?

Guys tend to think big-picture. He'll remember how he felt that night but not the name of the restaurant.

74 What's the definition of cheating?

Anything you wouldn't want him to know about, whether that's a flirty text or a full-on kiss.

75 I went on a few dates with a great guy, but I'm not attracted. How do I let him down?

Fib. Say "I'm not ready for a boyfriend now. It sucks, because you're awesome."

76 How do I get him to help out more? Flattery.

Tell him "You're so good at...."

77 How can I get rid of a guy who hits on me and won't take a hint?

Walk away.

78 I don't get along with his friends. Is that okay?

Yes. You have to be friendly, not friends.

79 Sometimes I'm jealous of his female pals. How do I get over it?

Get to know them. Hang out with him when they do, and invite them to go shopping with just you.

80 When is the right time to say "I love you"?

Wait at least 90 days. It takes that long to know it's not just lust.

81 We don't go out on dates anymore. Is that bad?

It can be. Doing exciting stuff together sparks dopamine, the new-love chemical in your brain.

82 He flirts in front of me. Why?

Insecurity-he needs to prove he's still desirable...and he's lame. Just saying.

83 How long should I wait to date again after a breakup?

At least eight weeks. Any earlier and even a guy with long-term potential will be a rebound.

84 I've put on weight, but he says he can't tell. Is he lying?

Probably, but that doesn't mean he cares. To him, it's sexier if you drop the topic than the pounds.

85 I'm tired of always splitting the bill. Can I bring it up without offending him?

Not really. Suggest you switch off paying-that way, you both get to treat each other.

86 Is it true that if you live together before marrying, it's less likely you'll get hitched to each other?

Usually, yes.

87 I'm in my 30s and single. Is it likely I'll never marry?

Nah. Statistically, most Americans marry, so relax and it'll happen more easily.

88 Why does he say "I'm sorry you feel that way"?

He wants to give a sincere apology, but he's not exactly clear on what he did wrong.

89 I can't stand his parents. How can I deal?

Think about the specific things your guy loves about them and it'll be easier to see them as he does.

90 Do open relationships work?


91 How much should I reveal about my ex?

The facts-how long you were together, who broke it off-and then drop it.

92 How can I tell if my friend with benefits wants to date?

He asks to do other stuff too, like take you to dinner.

93 I compare my relationship with my friends', especially since I can see all their PDA on Facebook. Is it a big deal?

Yes, it sets up unnecessary expectations and resentment. Block those couples from your news feed if you can't resist.

94 He's never dated anyone for more than a few months. Should I be cautious?

Maybe, but he might not have found anyone he liked enough. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

95 Should we really never go to bed angry?

No. It's better to cool off with sleep than hash it out when you're emotional.

96 I think he likes me, but he has a girlfriend. What do I do?

Nothing. If his feelings are real, he'll choose.

97 I hooked up with a friend. How do I figure out where we stand?

Say you had a good time, then flirtatiously ask "So what should we do now?"

98 Is it true you should marry your best friend?

No. Being BFFs zaps the chemistry you need for the long haul.

99 I've never seen him cry. Weird?

No, guys grow up believing tears are emasculating. So you'll have to tell him you think opening up is sexy.

100 I still get crushes even though I'm married. Is that healthy?

Yes. Crushes bring back that sexy, single-girl feeling your guy found irresistible when you first met.