The Surprise Secret To Better Sex

What's even more important than a hot position in bed? A steady beat, baby!




Whether your partner is a brand-new mate, or so familiar you could sketch his nether regions from memory, you want to establish one crucial thing during sex: a flow that can get you both off. New research shows that rhythmic stimulation—aka hitting the same spots at a consistent speed and pace—can heighten your senses and focus during the deed. You know that trance-like state you fall into while dancing, or doing yoga? Like that. Except, in this case, it is totally erotic and can culminate in your biggest climax yet. Grab your guy and start perfecting your sexual timing with these expert pointers.


To find bedroom synchronicity, you'll first have to choose a good time. For men, testosterone builds up overnight—which is why they're usually all about morning sex, says Alisa Vitti, a functional nutritionist and Founder of the virtual hormone health centre floliving.com. Women's hormones, on the other hand, fluctuate within our menstrual cycles. On the days you're ovulating, estrogen and testosterone are at peak levels, fueling your desire and down-there lubrication, says Vitti, so that's the optimal time to be on the same libidinous page as your man. At other moments, compromise is key. Try having sex on a stroll-in-late-to-work weekday morning when you have the energy to put something besides a bagel inside you. The next day, do it after work, and set the scene right when you get home, suggests sex therapist Holly Richmond, PhD. "Light some candles and have a glass of wine".

A little flirting also goes a long way. "My husband is a 'Let's have sex after we get in bed' person," says Gita, 38, from Bengaluru. She helps him get on her earlier horny schedule by warming him up during dinner. "I'll kiss him while he's washing dishes or bend over a lot while I'm cooking," she says. Over time, such small, suggestive moves can help line up your sex drives.


Focusing on your breath keeps you connected to and in control of your body. In the same way, dovetailing your airflow pattern with your dude's can help you naturally regulate the pace of your romps. Start in a tight position, like spooning, where you can easily coordinate breaths, then have him thrust to the speed of your inhales and exhales, suggests Richmond. If he breaks that pace and starts wildly jackhammering (hello, darkness, my old friend), reach back and grab his hips to direct him.

Staying in stride is the trick to crossing the finish line at the same time. Need an assist? Stimulate your clitoris to the same beat."I'll get in cowgirl and touch myself as my boyfriend moves inside me," says Lara, 27, from Mumbai. "It always sends me over the edge."


Picture pushing someone on a swing for a long time. After a while, the movement becomes so automatic, you kinda lose your sense of awareness and just focus on the push-push-push, right? Well, the same repeated back-and-forth during sex is what leads to that trance-like state that moves all other thoughts out of your mind, making it easier to orgasm.

Listening to music can help you nail this swing method (as we're calling it) because you can time your thrusts to the beat. Plus, women ranked good tunes as arousing as hearing X-rated moaning or visualising fantasy scenarios, per one study. Other research shows that the rhythm of a sexy song can help keep your mind in the moment. "Music helps me connect with my emotions more during sex," says Ankita, 29, from New Delhi. (J Cole and Drake top her list). If a song makes you think of sex the minute it starts playing, that might be the golden ticket...