1. No, a penis will not touch the baby. "My man freaked himself out as he thought he could feel the baby's head with his manhood. I have no idea how big or sensitive he thinks it is. I pointed out it was probably my cervix but he doesn't believe me."
2. Your vagina can sneeze. "My vagina started to sneeze when I came. It deposited a large mucus plug all over my partner."
3. You may find that your favorite positions are basically impossible. "My husband and I decided we missed the intimacy of missionary. We tried it, and he ended up on top of my bump like a beached whale. Not going to be trying that again."
4. Orgasms might not just leave you with a fuzzy feeling. "Sex in the latter stages brought on the most painful Braxton Hicks [contractions] that lasted three days and ended with me in hospital being examined to make sure I wasn't in early labor!"
5. Your bladder control won't be what it was. "I weed in his face when I climaxed after oral. I didn't squirt: I did an actual wee. Poor man, but it was totally out of my control and I couldn't help it."
6. You may find yourself masturbating more. "I definitely felt more aroused in my second trimester and found that if I didn't get sex every day, I had to sort myself out."
7. Your dreams may get a lot more entertaining. "My pregnancy dreams were hot — I orgasmed in my sleep a lot."
8. Sex will get noisier. "At 35 weeks pregnant, doing it doggy-style introduced a lot of air … then fanny farts, hilarity, and giggling."
9. Be prepared for unwelcome distractions. "There's something very off-putting when you're reaching orgasm and suddenly your unborn takes offense and starts kicking."
10. Expect the unexpected. "It's not unusual to find your nipples leaking milk mid-shag."
Louise Baty is the author of The Dos and Don'ts of Pregnancy.