1. Lots of Love Hearts
These are the best emoji we can possibly be sent, for several reasons:
- They're easy to understand.
- We know we're not in trouble.
- We can easily respond by spamming a series of hearts back.
2. Any Other Weirdly Specific Emoji You Use Way Too Often
What the hell? Seriously.
Are you pregnant? Are you pregnant and trying to tell us via emoji? Never, ever, ever use this, even if you're just randomly selecting emojis.
Speaking of arbitrary strings of emojis, what are we supposed to do with this? We have three ways to respond here: "hi," "OK," or "lol." If you want to start up a conversation, just ask.
We are in trouble.
6. Side Eyes
What is really happening in these? Are they ambivalent? Are these faces meant to be a visualization of "eh"? There's too much room for error here. Sending us one of these is the equivalent of blankly staring during an actual conversation. They're also way too similar.
7. Thumbs Up
We've said something terrible. The thumbs-up emoji is only used in sarcastic situations, just like in real life: The only person who legitimately gives a thumbs up is your dad.
8. OK + Point
The sexiest possible combination of emojis.
9. Sad Faces
You're sad, but nothing that terrible could've happened if you're expressing it in emojis.
We just won that argument, or you just admitted to us that you binge-watched two seasons of Scandal without getting out of bed.
11. Anything With the Poop Emoji
Either you're saying we're hot, or the building you're in is aflame and we should alert the local fire department.
13. The Wink
You just used a double-entendre.
You are praying to Beyoncé, your lord and savior.
Either you're going to ambush us when we get home or you're waiting for the other half of that fist bump.
16. Gun/Head Combos
The next time we see you, you're going to tell us all about your awful day at work.
17. Green Heart
You love us and it's St. Patrick's Day.
18. People Kissing a Baby
Sex, but as mentioned previously, this is not cool to include a baby. Just use the OK/point combo next time.
Either that's supposed to be a dildo/penis or you need us to pick up an eggplant from the store. Nine times out of 10, it is not being used as an eggplant.
This means you're sticking your tongue out at us because you're teasing us. However, this hugely changes meaning when paired up with the eggplant.
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