"The 10 Kinds of Men I Met on Tinder India"

Mostly swiping left...




Being an old-school kind of girl, I am not the first person to try out the newest trends and fads. I still prefer paperbacks to a kindle, and it took me forever to start shopping online (mid last year, I am ashamed to report, was when I made my first purchase). However, not being able to ignore the application everyone was talking about, curiosity got the better of me...and I cautiously ventured into the virtual dating world of Tinder. Over the time I spent left-swiping on, chatting with and meeting men on this app, I began to notice a certain trend in the kind of guys I came across. The results of my cyber adventures are given bellow.

1. The Soulful Guy: 

This man wants to be taken very seriously, and  tries very hard to communicate that he is a 'thinker' and an 'intellectual'. This is usually portrayed by moody pictures taken from behind, of him staring at some picturesque scenery, or out-of-focus photographs of him playing a guitar. In his information, he usually talks about issues, philosophy or some vaguely impressive sounding spiel (think Khalil Gibran quotes).

2.The Start-up guy: 

These men are usually a dime-a-dozen, most of them having recently quit their jobs to develop an app, or start a young and forward-thinking company. They also talk endlessly about their idea, and how it is going to be the next big thing .You will constantly here them saying things like "think Uber for Florists" or "think Airbnb for used bicycles". Barring the few genuine ones with smart ideas and a sense of purpose, most of these men are usually just making excuses for unemployment.

3. Twenty-Dates-a-Day Guy: 

This is a special type of guy who has decided that quantity will eventually lead to quality. He is simultaneously conducting 20 chats and meeting two-three girls a day, if possible, all the time, furiously swiping away for more options. The result is a kind of cookie-cutter-robotic interaction, which in most cases can be a huge turn-off.

4. Extremely Creepy and Inappropriate Guy: 

This man can sometimes come up quite unexpectedly, almost like a red herring. He seems to have a perfectly normal profile, and you might even end up having a great chat or first date with him. But just as you let your guard down, he comes up with something seriously creepy. It could be asking you what you wear at night to sleep, or even a direct attempt to have a one-night stand with little to no interaction. At this point, all I can suggest is to block him permanently, shrug your shoulders and move on with life.

5. Seriously Weird Profile Picture Guy: 

A strange breed of man I came across on Tinder is the kind with some seriously odd profile pictures. These could be as varied as a close-up of their left eyeball, a contrived shot featuring a gun, cigarettes and a whiskey bottle, a blurry picture of an empty road, a close up picture of a gold and diamond studded watch—the list is endless. They all leave you wondering what exactly is happening. Nevertheless, many of them do provide a good chuckle before you firmly swipe left.

6. The Gym Guy: 

No explanation required here—this guy is quite simply obsessed with his workout at the gym. Close-up shots of arm muscles, selfies holding weights in the gym mirror and slightly sweaty pictures revealing abs are to be expected. Conversation, if ever ventured, very often leads to offers for personal training classes and the pros and cons of protein shakes.

7.  Super Inappropriately Nosey Guy:  Again, much like creepy guy, this man will start off as seemingly normal. Then comes the barrage of personal questions. 'What do you earn', 'How much do you drink?', 'What does your father's sister do?', 'Why do your parents allow you to drive alone at night?'. The questions never stop. All this even before bothering to ask you what your interests and favorite movies are. In most cases, it can be extremely annoying

8. Scarily Familiar Guy: 

This is someone you know, and don't know how to react coming across on Tinder. It could be your boss, ex-boyfriend, brother's best friend—or simply someone you know socially. This usually leads to uncomfortable thoughts wondering about how they must react to seeing you on Tinder before, once again, swiping left.

9. The Salesman Guy: 

Another guy who will seem absolutely normal. You will begin to have a conversation and he will seem to be really pleasant and witty UNTIL ... He will try and pitch a product for a company he is working for. Much like a model in an advertisement, this is his reason for being on Tinder in the first place.

Before I scare any perspective Tinder newbies from ever trying out this app let me come to my ninth and final guy. This guy reminds us the hope is indeed alive and out there.

10. The Nice and Normal Guy: 

Yes! These men also exist on Tinder. However, you might have to wade through a few of the above weirdos to find them. They are smart, witty and nice men. Meeting them might lead to a couple of good dates, a relationship or even a fun new friendship. It's also interesting to swap stories about the kind of strange encounters they had before meeting you as well.

So ladies, please do try out Tinder. However, take it with a pinch of salt and don't expect to find Mr. Right in the first twenty minutes. Have some fun, look into your options and at all cost be cautious and safe. Happy swiping!