Minx Fur Butt Plug by Crystal Delights
Tantra Sex Chair by Tantra Chair
Ostrich Feather Tickler by Betony Vernon
Nipple Clamps by Betony Vernon
Inez Vibrator by Lelo
Nell Pleasure Seed Vibrator by Coco de Mer
King JCobra Cock Ring by Velv'Or
The Pearl Royal Vibrator
How Much: $155
What It Does: Stimulates the anus, making it feel "full." Sometimes used to prepare for anal sex. Also, it's soft.
Best Product Review: "The tail is a beautiful Canadian Red Fox that matched my hair color perfectly."
Remember: Use lubrication. And don't drop—it's made of glass.
How Much: $1,300
What It Does: Angles pelvic muscles to hit all the right chokras. See: tantric sex.
Best Product Review: "Our favorite chair!"
Remember: Available in multiple colors to match the other upholstery.
How Much: $2,900
What It Does: Tickles things.
Best Product Review: "A feather tickler that is also a stylish cocktail party accessory."
Remember: Don't sneeze.
How Much: $5,270 for 18KT gold set
What It Does: Force blood from the area, heightening sensation and causing arousing pain. For, but certainly not limited to, a woman's nipples.
Best Product Review: "Gorgeous."
Remember: Don't wear for longer than 15 minutes.
How Much: $7,900 for silver; $15,000 for gold
What It Does: Vibrates wherever you want it to vibrate, but specialized for insertion. Shaped to accommodate multiple pleasure points.
Best Product Review: "I mean, without a 24-carat gold vibrator, can anyone truly consider themselves sexually fulfilled?"
Remember: Requires time to charge.
How Much: $15,500 for 18KT gold
What It Does: Vibrates wherever you want it to vibrate, but can't be inserted into much.
Best Product Review: "I liked the way it built up its intensity, like a seed growing and blossoming into something bigger and wonderful."
Remember: It's shaped like a coco de mer seed. Seeds are small. Don't lose it.
How Much: $118,700
What It Does: Massages a man's perineum for extended periods of times.
Best Product Review: "An item that makes them feel 'on top of the world,' wearing this crown jewel for their own crown jewels."
Remember: Do not attempt to remove while erect.
How Much: $1,000,000
What It Does: Vibrates. With solid platinum covered in 1,000 diamonds, sapphires, and pearls, it better sparkle, too.
Best Product Review: Yeah, like anyone has actually used it.
Remember: Don't lose precious gemstones in your body cavities.