Great News: Having an Office Job Will Make You 60% More Likely to Die Early

Let's all just quit now, shall we?

21 March, 2018
Great News: Having an Office Job Will Make You 60% More Likely to Die Early

​You know what, I always knew working was bad for me. But now we have firm, indisputable proof that we should all sack our jobs off and start living off the land because scientists have revealed working in an office day in, day out means we're 60% more likely to die early. Good-o.

For those of us who spend our days working very hard on improving the arse-imprint on our office chairs, only moving to grab a cuppa or to go the toilet, the world is waving a red flag at us. We need to stop this laziness or we're going to pop those clogs sharpish.

Apparently, the real problem lies within the fact that working eight hours a day in an office usually means we do bugger all exercise. So as long as we do at least an hour's exercise per day we should be alright, but maybe leave that bit out of your impassioned resignation speech to HR.

The study, which originated from Cambridge University (can't argue with them though, can you?), gathered data from more than one million adults and found that sitting down all day caused one in six premature deaths - often thanks to heart disease, strokes, cancer, or type 2 diabetes.

But if you're one of the ones who spends more time with your office chair than your own boyfriend, don't worry, you're not alone. Apparently 37% of the UK adult population are totally inactive (spending less than half an hour each day up and about on their feet), so it's probably time to do your bit to reduce that statistic.

Look, we're not saying this means you're bound for a life of destitution; we're just saying perhaps we could think of more creative ways to get away from your desk. Get one of those treadmill desks, or pack in your sales job and join the circus. DO SOMETHING to remove yourself from the narrative that is premature death by office job.

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Credit: Cosmopolitan
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