17 Things All Pizza Addicts Know To Be True

1. Sometimes, you sacrifice your social life in favour of pizza. A true addict will definitely have left at LEAST three clubs/parties early out of fear their favourite pizza place will shortly be closing and they'll miss out on a late night margherita fix. Or ditched a night out in favour of a night in with bae (Papa John). Mmmm... margherita.

2. Ditto, your best laid plans to get a banging bikini body. I mean, it's really the thought that counts right?

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3. While you may joke  you'll never find a man to love as much as Papa John... you also secretly think: 'Shit, what if that actually happens though?' Biggest fear right there.

4. ​Condiments are key. What use is a good crust without a delicious tub (or five) of garlic and herb for it to swim in? Mmmm... crusts.​

5. And instead of dying alone surrounded by alsatians à la Bridget Jones, you fear you'll die alone, crushed under a pile of empty pizza boxes – and nobody will discover you until Domino's realise you haven't ordered in a while and pop round to check on you. WHAT IF, WHAT IF?

6. Entire friendships/relationships can be built on a mutual love of pizza. Which toppings to choose, the best discount codes, the ultimate debate on which takeout place is number one - pizza just provides all kinds of conversation and brings the people together, man. Speaking from personal experience here...

7. Global pizza envy is definitely a real thing. You see a new-fangled, genius pizza combo online, drool and start picturing your life together... only to discover it's not available on your side of the Atlantic. All of a sudden, life seems pointless. Like, it actually has zero points unless you can score a slice of New Zealand's Chee-Zee Marmite Stuffed Pizza (Is this tasty? I fear it's phenomenally so. Somebody from NZ please tweet me to confirm...) or Australia's Dorito crust:

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8. Occasionally you look at a really good pizza and think... 'I might actually love you more than my entire family'... and then spend the rest of the day tinged with shame and remorse (but not really, because oh my god how perfect was that sauce to cheese ratio? Mmmm... sauce).​

​9. ​You're so bored of hearing people ask, "Don't you ever get fed up of eating pizza all the time?" ​Err... nope. Thanks for your enquiry kind Sir, but the answer today is 'no'. It's also a 'no' tomorrow and will continue to be a 'no' FOR THE REST OF TIME.​

10. Even though the love is real, your addiction to pizza can backfire. Do the words 'Eyes' 'Bigger' 'Than' and 'Belly' ring any bells? You knew eating that XXL Veggie Supreme all by yourself would put you in a carb coma and render you useless for an entire afternoon, but you just HAD to eat it all anyway. Didn't you? 

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11. Watching a TV show or film without a slice in your hand feels kinda weird ​And therefore all Saturday night telly time must be planned meticulously around when your pizza is expected to be delivered.

​12. The sinking feeling you get when you open a box of pizza only to find the cheese is welded to the lid never goes away. ​But at least if we ever go on X Factor we'll have a ​really ​good sob story to get us through to the finals – it's still difficult to talk about that mangled Meat Feast from last summer.

​13. But, the feeling of sheer joy when you open a lid to find a perfectly pristine pizza also never goes away. ​And that, along with the other basics – love, wine and being a good human – is what life's all about really. No? 

14. ​You will never, ever understand when your friends say, "Let's order a take away!" ​and then bring out a Chinese menu. But whyyy did you get my hopes up? You guys clearly aren't REAL friends.

15. A slight downside? As if your addiction to the good stuff didn't already rinse your bank account enough... ​The world then has to go and invent a bunch of delicious accessories/homeware essentials that allow you to declare your pizza lovefest in public. Laters overdraft, hello pizza-related tings to admire and adore. 

​16. Pizza is legitimately the greatest wingman known to man. ​A 'Pizza at mine?' text is a failsafe seduction technique. And don't you forget it. 

​17. And ultimately, you know that pizza – the holy grail of foods – will be there for you no matter what, through thick (crust) and thin (base). ​And for that, you will always be truly grateful. ​?​​?​

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