When you were first seeing each other, you might have dimmed the lights before undressing and probably always shut the bathroom door. Now? You might not think twice about letting him see you in your period panties. But while being uninhibited during sex definitely boosts pleasure, the new book La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life argues that putting it all out there during everyday moments can screw with your sexual chemistry.
Author Elaine Sciolino, a Paris correspondent for The New York Times, who lives in France, noticed that French women approach seduction differently than others do: they believe that keeping some things under wraps adds an element of enticement to interactions with a guy. And Sciolino says we should master this feminine mystique too.
Jamie Cat Callan in her book French Women Don't Sleep Alone says that they are all about mystery, seduction, and maybe a little subterfuge, anything to keep the other party interested and always guessing. Their motto, would be: 'Love is something that happens while you are going about your life'.
Less is way more
Les femmes franÃ§aises limit what they expose to their guy, and that drives up lust-for example, if your boyfriend sees your lady parts all the time, eventually, he'll become desensitised and stop fantasising about ripping off your clothes to get a peek. "Most French women keep an air of mystery about themselves, even if they've been with someone for a long time," Sciolino says.
So wrap yourself in a towel postshower, and hang your just-washed bras in your closet instead of on the doorknob where he'll see them. You want your guy to associate lingerie with your hot body-seeing it as laundry takes away the allure. Another part of maintaining mystery is holding back a bit during conversations. While it's hot to occasionally send a salacious text ("I want you inside me"), it's often more exciting to be coy.
"French women are playful in conversations," Sciolino says. Send a text to get your guy thinking in a risquÃ© way without being overtly sexual (try a photo of the edge of your bare hip with the message, "Just a preview..."). That's what makes him crave you intensely.
Don't Forget the Naughty Details Sciolino also points out that most women tend to save sexy extras like nice lingerie, a scarf and perfume for special occasions. In contrast, French women incorporate those things into their daily lives-they spend an estimated 20 percent of their income on lingerie, says Sciolino. And that keeps desire simmering. Wearing hot undies makes you feel sexier; as a result, you'll act more seductive. In addition to wearing Miranda Kerr-worthy underthings, spritz on a musky perfume.
French women believe that perfume tells a lot about your personality, Sciolino says, so find a signature daily scent and your guy will come to associate you with this sensual smell. Because musky fragrances have pheromones, they'll lend you a temptressy vibe.
According to a survey by British scientists, 90 per cent of women feel more confident and sexy when wearing fragrance than they do without it. It can make you smell good, elevate your mood and boost your confidence- all important factors when it comes to making a good first impression, the interesting survey adds.
The ultimate French trick to steal? Sciolino calls it The Look: a sexually charged stare where you lock eyes for a few seconds, give a little half smile, and then glance away. You might have worked it on your guy when you initially got together, but it's incredibly powerful in an LTR. It conveys longing, and a desire to be with only him. It makes him want to drag you to bed, this second.