If your bags could talk, here's what they’d say

Ever wondered what your bags talk about when you’re not around? From the seasoned tote that's seen it all to the fresh-off-the-shelf clutch flaunting its brand-new sheen, your handbag collection has opinions. As they gather for an imaginary gossip session, prepare to overhear tales of being overstuffed, ignored, or paraded like royalty. Warning: You might never look at your closet the same way again!

Jacquemus The large Bambino, ₹1,08,400 approx.

“I may be tiny but I bring the drama...or so I keep telling myself.

Hermès Birkin 3-en-1,price on request

“I have Pilates at 6 am, matcha at 7, a flight to Alibaug at 11, a board meeting at 1 pm, and my son’s graduation at 4 pm—I do not have time for ‘lunches’...whatever that is.”

Bottega Veneta Medium Sardine, ₹4,37,200 approx.

“My dad covers everything from my rent to my R&R in Saint-Tropez. I just bring the vibes...and occasionally, a little SPF.”

The Row Blake Hobo Bag in Leather, ₹2,22,800 approx.

“Just landed back from NYC, where I pretended to know about art at Sotheby’s. Anyway, wanna go to this new gallery that’s opened up in Jor Bagh later?”

Dior Saddle Bag with Strap, price on request 

“Sorry, I didn’t answer any of your texts. I was stranded on an island with the Gstaad Guy. Nothing too crazy, just a typical Tuesday, really!” 

Balenciaga Le city Large Bag, ₹2,73,250 approx. 

“Something about your vibe doesn’t sit right with me...you need an aura cleanse! My friend knows someone who knows someone...do you need their number!?”

Celine Classique Triomphe, ₹4,25,500 approx. 

“I am a beautiful woman with mysterious sources of income. Of course, everyone wants to be ME and knows who I am—but the answer lies in my name.”

Miu Miu Wander Matelassé Nappa Leather Hobo Bag, price on request 

“I might have verbal diarrhoea and overshare every time I go out (then regret later), but at least I don’t pretend to be ‘mysterious’.”

This article first appeared in Cosmopolitan India, November-December 2024, print edition.

All images: The brands 

Lead image credit: Pexels 

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