The Subtle Art of Looking More Confident Than You Feel, According to a Body Language Expert
First impressions are important. So, if you want to look confident for an important work meeting (virtual or real!) or to finally ask out your crush, here's how to make a lasting impression and overcome nervousness.
Nov 17, 2020
You may have often heard 'fake it till you make it' slogan. Well, it is true. The easiest way to overcome nervousness is to acknowledge it and get past it. How? Well, by stretching out your body as opposed to folding your hands and retreating in a corner.
Pamela says, "You can increase your space in the room by extending out your arms and legs, stand tall and keep your hands by the side of your body. This is known as a ‘territorial gesture’ or splaying- and this stance helps convey a sense of command and confidence. The opposite of this would be shrinking your space in a room or slouching (a huge no-no!)"
Remember the iconic wine glass moment from The Great Gatsby? Well, that was a major power move. Free and unrestricted hand movements show that you are comfortable in your surroundings or situation.
"When we are nervous, we often fold our arms across our body or wring our hands. However, you should refrain from holding your opposite shoulder or elbow because this signifies that something is bothering you. Instead use vibrant hand gestures while conversing with your guests to show off your knowledge and passion as you speak," she says.
While hand gestures are super-important, nervously touching your ears, fidgeting with objects denote stress and discomfort. Plus, constantly touching your face is never really good for your skin!
"Do not let your hands go anywhere close to your neck! Touching your neck is one of the biggest indicators you are nervous or uncomfortable about something. Instead, clasp your hands in a steeple position or as if it’s holding an ‘invisible brick’ in front of your body as you speak," says Pamela.
Everyone loves a good listener. So, apart from maintaining good eye contact and nodding your head, you need to lean a tad bit towards your speaker. It works both ways! "Pay attention to when someone suddenly leans in towards you when you are speaking. This is a clear sign you have engaged your listener and they want to hear more," she says.
"If the person's feet are pointed towards you, you still have their attention. If you notice one foot starts pointing towards the exit, you could be beginning to ‘lose them’, so this is something to take note of on a subtle level," says Pamela.
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