BeReal or BeFake—are we all faking the effortless cool-girl aesthetic online?

Social media was meant to be a space for self-expression, a way to share life’s moments as they happen. But somewhere along the way, even the idea of being "real" turned into another aesthetic. The pressure isn’t just about looking good anymore, it’s about looking good without looking like you tried.

The push for authenticity in digital spaces has created a strange paradox. While people want to be seen as raw and unfiltered, there’s still an unspoken expectation to make even the most casual moments look interesting. A blurry selfie, a "just woke up" picture, or a messy desk snapshot—none of these are truly spontaneous anymore. They are carefully curated to fit a certain kind of cool, one that says, I don’t care too much, but I still look good.

The rise of ‘effortless cool’

Sharing uncut, daily life is becoming increasingly popular on social media. The goal is to embrace a more genuine form of self-expression and abandon the illusion of unrealistic perfection. But even in this movement, a new kind of pressure has emerged: the need to appear effortlessly interesting.

Consider this: even if a random, unposed photo is posted, it somehow manages to stay connected to a visual theme. Even the so-called “ugly” pictures are strategically posted to seem funny or relatable. The problem isn’t the content itself; it’s the fact that people still feel the need to craft an image, even when trying to be real.

The struggle between authenticity and perception

No matter how much social media claims to embrace imperfection, there’s always an underlying standard of what is considered cool enough to share. A random picture of someone reading in a café might look spontaneous, but it still fits into an aesthetic. The same goes for travel shots, gym selfies, or snapshots of everyday life. They may not be edited, but they are rarely uncalculated.

This creates a never-ending loop of self-awareness. People don’t just share moments anymore; they curate them. Even when the goal is to break free from the pressure of looking perfect, there’s an instinct to present life in a way that still feels appealing.

 

An online presence is nearly as significant as a physical presence for Gen Z, who grew up in a society that is constantly linked. Participation on social media likes, comments, and shares has evolved into a kind of approval. A platform that promotes raw, unrefined content is nevertheless one where aesthetics are important.

The fear of missing out is one factor. Nobody wants to be the one posting from their couch if everyone else is posting pictures from parties, vacations, or engaged in interesting activities. Social comparison creeps in even when rejecting tailored feeds is the intended outcome. The result? People continue to construct their online image, even under the label of being "real."

So, what’s the solution?

The first step is realising that social media, no matter how unfiltered it claims to be, is still a highlight reel. No platform can fully capture real life because it includes the tedious, uncomfortable, and unglamorous times in addition to the thrilling and fun ones.

It is acceptable to step back if posting begins to seem like a performance. Don't share because you feel compelled to; share whatever you want, whenever you want. Remember that what you see online is just a small, curated part of someone’s reality. And most importantly, don’t let social media define what makes your life interesting.

Being real doesn’t mean trying to prove it. Sometimes, being real is just existing without feeling the need to capture every moment.

Lead image credits: Pexels

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