Breaking down all the colour-coded flags in dating

Dating apps have unlocked a whole new world, haven’t they? Suddenly, everyone’s just a swipe away. Some profiles feel like they’ve been sent straight from heaven—promising the moon, the stars, and maybe even a cute little cat if you ask nicely. Then there’s the other end of the spectrum: the ones who ghost you like they own Harry Potter's invisibility cloak or reply after what feels like a sabbatical. You know the type. The good, the bad, and the head-scratchingly annoying—all rolled into one.  

We’ve all had those moments where dating feels like a crossover between a rom-com and a horror story. One minute, you’re bonding over your favourite shows and planning the perfect date; the next, you’re wondering if they were even real or just a figment of your imagination. Did they get sucked into a black hole? Who knows! But one thing’s for sure: dating today often feels like navigating a minefield of red flags, yellow flags, and those rare green flags that leave you asking, “Is this too good to be true?”  

So, how do you know when to hit the brakes, slow down, or step on the gas in this wild dating world? Enter: the colour-coded flag system. From glaring red flags that scream “Run!” to those elusive green flags that make you believe in love again, we’re decoding the signals you need to know. Let the flag-spotting begin!  

The infamous red flags

Okay, we all know that person. The one who somehow turns you into an emotional wreck, making you feel like you're the problem in the relationship. They’re a master at gaslighting and calling you crazy for asking relevant questions. One minute they’re giving you attention, the next they’re ghosting you like you don’t exist. Classic red flag.

If they disrespect your boundaries, play mind games, or leave you feeling lonely in a relationship, then girl, it’s time to stop pretending they’re your soulmate. Therapy 101 says, "Run." No, you absolutely cannot fix them. And trust me, you might want to save up on that therapy money and buy yourself something expensive with it instead! 

The maybe yes, maybe no yellow flags

Now, yellow flags are the trickiest. These ones don’t scream “run for your life,” but they’re definitely a reason to pump the brakes and take a closer look. They might seem harmless at first, but when you really think about it, there’s something off.

Maybe they seem emotionally unavailable—only calling when it’s convenient for them or giving you just enough to keep you hooked, but never quite stepping up. Or maybe they keep dodging anything serious, like they’re allergic to commitment. And let’s not even get started on the "I’ll text you, but never actually do" game. These yellow flags aren’t always a dealbreaker, but they are signs to pay attention to, especially if you’re looking for something more real than a never-ending guessing game.

The imaginary green flags 

Oh, the rare and glorious green flags. When you spot them, it’s like seeing a unicorn in a field of horses. These are the people who make you feel comfortable, understood, and—wait for it—actually happy to be with. They respect your boundaries without you needing to remind them every five minutes. They’re emotionally available, show up when they say they will, and don’t disappear for days without a reasonable explanation. They communicate. They listen. And most importantly, they make you feel seen, not like some half-thought-out afterthought.

A green flag isn’t about fireworks or wild romance—it's the quiet, steady feeling of actually being with someone who gets it. They’re in it, not just testing the waters, and honestly? These people deserve a gold star and a high five.

The fuzzy feels blue flags

Blue flags are a little like when you stumble across a cozy cafe you didn’t know existed—unexpected, comforting, and full of pleasant surprises. These aren’t the romantic hero flags, but they’re still pretty darn nice. You know, those people who remember the small things—like your favourite book or how you like your coffee. The ones who check in on you even when they’re not physically around. They make you feel good about yourself in a way that’s subtle but significant.

They're not necessarily perfect, but they have that vibe where you just think, that tthey just may be your lobster. No drama, just pure, solid respect and affection. Honestly, who doesn’t want a partner who supports your dreams, encourages your hustle, and makes you feel good about your most authentic self?

The knows no-boundary purple flags

Purple flags are like those perfectly good-looking people who seem normal, but then drop a bombshell that makes you think, if you need more time to process this. They might shower you with affection way too soon (hello, love-bombing) or have an intensity that feels less passionate and more overwhelming. It's like being served a five-course meal when all you were expecting was a sandwich.

They could be putting pressure on you to move too fast or overanalysing every little thing you do—like when they start asking what "we are" after one date. Take a deep breath. These flags aren’t red yet, but they’re definitely worth a double-take. You don’t want to get swept up in the intensity without seeing the full picture.

The "you are better off single" black flags 

Black flags? No, no, no. These are the ones that scream get the hell out before things get any worse. These are the manipulative, controlling, toxic individuals who have no interest in respecting your boundaries, your time, or your feelings. They love to gaslight, twist your words, and make you feel like everything wrong in the relationship is somehow your fault. They might try to isolate you from friends or family, make you feel unworthy, or just generally suck the life out of you.

These black flags aren’t subtle—they’re basically a flashing neon sign that says RUN in 10-foot letters. No one deserves to stay in a relationship where they’re constantly put down, manipulated, or made to feel small...even in front of a group of people.

Featured image credit: Netflix

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