Did life really feel better before 2020, or are we just nostalgic?

Do you ever think about how nice life felt in 2019? Not necessarily because everything was perfect, or because we had fewer problems, but because there was something about being alive that felt different. Weekends felt longer, plans with friends seemed easier, and there was always something to look forward to. An ordinary evening out could turn into a story you'd tell for years. You could spend an entire afternoon doing absolutely nothing and not feel like you were wasting precious time. Maybe we are looking back with rose-tinted glasses, but lately, there's a feeling that life has lost a little of its magic. The days just pass by, our phones are busier than ever, and we are more connected, yet something feels strangely missing.

And it's not just about getting older, having more responsibilities, or realising that adulthood is largely paying bills and trying to get eight hours of sleep. There is a growing sense that the world itself feels different. Years seem to disappear before we have had the chance to live them, friendships take more effort to maintain, and even the things we are supposed to enjoy can feel like another item on an already exhausting to-do list. It is difficult to pinpoint exactly when it happened, but 2020 feels like a pretty significant dividing line. The pandemic may not explain everything, but it was definitely a life-altering event. It changed how we worked, socialised, spent money, and thought about the future. And while we may have moved on from lockdowns, the emotional and social effects haven't really disappeared with them. Perhaps the question isn't whether life changed after 2020, but how much of that change we are still carrying around with us.

In March 2022, the World Health Organization (WHO) reported that the global prevalence of anxiety and depression had increased by 25 per cent during the first year of the pandemic. Social isolation, financial worries, grief, and uncertainty were among the factors contributing to the decline in mental health. Young people and women were particularly affected. The WHO's findings somewhat explained why returning to our old routines didn't necessarily mean returning to our old selves.

Think about it. For months, almost two years in fact, the world told us to stay home, avoid crowds, and keep our distance. Then, almost overnight, we were expected to show up at work, socialise, travel, and carry on as usual. There wasn't always much room to process what we had been through. If your brain still feels like it has 37 tabs open, perhaps you need to give yourself a little grace.

Our social lives came back, but did our social batteries?

Remember when making spontaneous plans didn't require three weeks of scheduling and some heavy-duty mental math? Today, a simple dinner can involve checking everyone's work commitments, budgets, moods, energy levels, and whether they actually feel like leaving the house.

Research offers some explanation. A review of studies on the pandemic's social effects, published in 2023, found that COVID-19 disrupted social relationships and community connections, alongside worsening psychological and economic pressures. It highlights how much everyday life depends on the connections we often take for granted.

Research discussed by the London School of Economics also found that, in a survey of New Zealanders, 26 per cent said they had become less social after lockdowns, while only 10 per cent said the pandemic had made them more proactive about spending time with friends. Some people had simply fallen out of the habit of socialising; others found that friendships had become strained.

And honestly, that makes sense. When you spend months seeing people through a screen, even catching up in person can start feeling like an activity that requires effort. The good news? Habits can be rebuilt. A quick coffee, a walk with a friend, or an unplanned phone call can count just as much as an elaborate night out.

Why does it feel like the years are flying by?

One minute, it's January, and the next, you are wondering how it's already October. The pandemic seems to have created a strange collective time warp, with many people describing lockdown as simultaneously endless and impossibly brief in hindsight.

Research published in Scientific Reports in January 2024 examined how people experience time, including how cognitive load and memory influence our perception of time. Other pandemic-era research papers have also explored how disrupted routines affected our sense of time. There isn't one definitive explanation for why the years seem to pass faster now, but repetitive routines may play a part.

Think about a typical week: work, commute, dinner, scrolling, sleep, repeat. When our days contain fewer distinct experiences, they can blur together in retrospect. That doesn't mean we need to book a holiday every month. Trying a new class, exploring an unfamiliar neighbourhood, or making time for something purely because it's fun can make an ordinary week a little less monotonous and give it a little more texture.

Life got more expensive, and we are more tired

Existing costs money. Rent, groceries, travel, and socialising can make even a relatively simple lifestyle feel expensive. Meanwhile, work messages follow us home, our phones never stop buzzing, and social media gives us an endless stream of things we apparently should be doing, buying, or achieving.

Now, it would be wrong to blame every modern frustration on the pandemic. But it did disrupt livelihoods, deepened existing inequalities, and changed how many people work and interact. Returning to a busy calendar doesn't automatically restore the energy we once had for it.

The new normal

Perhaps we are spending too much time trying to recreate a version of life that no longer exists. We can't rewind to 2019, and maybe we don't need to. We can, however, decide what deserves more space in our lives now.

Call your friend instead of sending another meme. Make plans that don't revolve around spending money. Leave a Sunday afternoon gloriously unproductive. Find something to look forward to that has nothing to do with your career.

The pandemic changed the way many of us experience the world, but it doesn't mean the future has to feel permanently flat. Maybe feeling alive again isn't about getting the old world back. Rather, it is about making more room for the little things that make this one feel worth living in.

Lead image: IMDb

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