Uncovering Gen Z’s obsession with coming up with new relationship terms

Long before the rise of popular relationship lingo, Facebook introduced a simpler way to define your relationship status. You were either single, taken, or—let’s face it—"complicated." For many of us early-to-mid Gen Z kids, especially those just entering high school, "complicated" was a catch-all for a variety of relationship dynamics. It could mean a breakup that was patched up after a few hours, a relationship that wasn’t quite a relationship yet, or a friends-with-benefits situation where one party had fallen in love, despite agreeing that feelings would not be involved. Whatever it was, "complicated" seemed to cover it all.

But as Facebook's popularity waned, the question "What are we?" needed clearer answers. By the time Gen Z reached adulthood, the blurry lines of "more-than-friends-but-less-than-partners" gave birth to casual relationships, which eventually led to the rise of situationships. Meanwhile, friends with benefits found themselves overtaken by hookup culture, offering more freedom without the risk of emotional involvement.

Amid jokes, memes, and the explosion of Reels, new terms began to define modern relationships. People's experiences were so varied that traditional labels no longer fit. Terms like "love bombing" emerged as red flags, warning us of unhealthy relationship patterns—especially with the rise of dating apps. Others, like "nanoship," were coined in jest, reflecting a generation's longing for connection. While it seemed easy to judge why commitment had become so elusive, the reality of a hyper-connected yet emotionally distant world left little room for clear answers.

The red flags

Social media has made it easier than ever to share information. On the surface, this sounds like a great thing: being more informed than ever, knowing what to do, and what to look out for. And indeed, this newfound awareness extended to relationships.

For the first time, patterns of behaviour that had once been normalised were being called out. We learned to recognise red flags, understand the importance of equal relationships, and realise how our childhoods influenced our approach to partnerships. Social media also made it easier to spot behaviours we didn’t want in our own lives. Terms like "pocketing", "benching", and "cushioning" crept into our vocabulary, serving as warning signs to avoid.

But on the flip side, this new knowledge made us overly guarded about relationships. Reels full of deeply stereotyped messages, such as "men will cheat and break your heart" and "women are only after your money", led to a generation of young adults who assumed they would be let down. Pickup artists and self-proclaimed relationship gurus put terms like "high-value men" and "high-value women" into the collective consciousness.

Playing hard to get became the norm, and ideas like the three-month rule in dating gained popularity, fuelling our fear of committing to the wrong person. As everything was over-analysed and dissected, red and green flags gave way to "pink flags"—issues that were annoying but could be worked on. Some even went as far as creating a Relationship SWOT analysis. It became easier than ever to call it quits and look for something better, with the mindset that there were plenty more fish in the sea.

Dating apps and the loss of the third space 

Now that connecting with people had become so easy, the need for face-to-face interaction decreased. Texts and calls were often enough, leading to the loss of what is now referred to as the "third space".

The third space refers to the common places people used to go outside of home and work to socialise and relax. Think of playing with friends after school, or attending extracurricular activities like singing or tuition lessons. Even our parents would often catch up with friends in similar spaces. Proponents of the third space theory argue that with the internet's rise, the need for these in-person interactions has dwindled, making it harder to meet people with similar hobbies and interests.

While dating apps were designed to help with this, they could never replace the organic process of getting to know someone in a third space. Over time, it became easier for users to catfish, presenting themselves as entirely different people. The illusion of endless options made it harder to choose someone reliable enough to date. This created the need for even more labels. The "talking stage" became distinct from a "date", and a "situationship" was a step further, but without the commitment.

By 2024, a new trend—"boysober"—emerged. Disappointed by their dating experiences, many women gave up on dating apps altogether.

The Fictional men won't disappoint 

Despite their fears of disappointment, Gen Z still craves human connection, and this is reflected in their language. Terms like "microships" and "nanoships"—used to describe flirtatious, fleeting interactions—became popular. These terms often referred to random crushes in daily life, like that one person you noticed at a party, or the attractive stranger you bumped into on the commute.

Entire online aesthetics evolved around yearning for a love story, often focusing on fictional characters. Gen Z embraced these posts, fully aware that real people might not live up to their fictional counterparts.

But when real life often presents us with flawed relationships—whether from our families or our own experiences—protecting ourselves and yearning for connection in a safer space doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

Lead  image credits:  IMDB

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