What Your Mom Says vs. What She Actually Means

That fist symbol you keep using in your texts is horrid.

I can't wait to tag you in all our family photos/check on what you're upto.

You look like a tart.

Thank heavens! He wore a T-shirt to dinner!

When are you getting married? I'm bored and want grandchildren.

Please don't let any penises near you.

Darling. I'm right.

I've so got the hang of this texting business.

You sound excited so I'll go with it.