10 Brave Women Share Their Journey of Self-Love and Acceptance
These lovely women bare their so-called imperfections and reveal their battle scars...which they now wear as beautiful badges of honor.
These lovely women bare their so-called imperfections and reveal their battle scars...which they now wear as beautiful badges of honor.
11. Shibani Dandekar,“I have been on an incredible journey with my body. One that began with me absolutely hating it every single day to the point that it had consumed me! I hated my pimpled skin, my love handles, my overall size... It is only now that I look back and understand how incredibly strong my body was and how accepting its size as my strength would have changed my entire perception. I don’t know if I have overcome my insecurities, but I have tried to change the way I think. Acceptance is everything. I own it and never give people the chance to put me in a position that can make me uncomfortable. The second your perception about your body changes, people understand that it is something you are okay with, and as a result, they can’t tear you down. The battle with my body has been tough...I have been very hard on myself and strived for unrealistic goals of perfection. Once I started eating right and exercising regularly, I realised that I had done everything I could possibly do and this is the body I was given...and I must embrace it. Once I nurtured that and saw it through a different lens, it was incredible how much I began to love it.”
22. Kirti Kulhari,“I have overcome most of the insecurities...or rather, have come to terms with the bits that I didn’t like about my body. Except when I am PMSing...that’s when it begins again and I start hating almost everything about my body. I am very aware of this. I was raised in a way that physical beauty was not given much importance. And I think it was a good thing, as I didn’t feel any pressure to look a certain way. But I started bothering about how I looked after I joined the film industry in 2007. That’s just the way the this industry functions...even if you are comfortable in your own skin, people around you will make you feel self-conscious. And that, for sure, affected me several times. I started taking it personally, and looked at myself with a very critical eye. Honestly, I am still trying to understand why it’s important for girls to be light-skinned or have a certain kind of body to be considered beautiful. I believe that the people saying these things are victims of the kind of conditioning that has been prevalent in our society for centuries, but they need to realise that their insensitivity can so much damage. Thankfully, I am in a healthy space with my body now...and I love who I am, or rather who I have become.”
33. Gloria Tep Rengma,“I remember feeling very uncomfortable about my breasts in school. I also had bushy eyebrows and that made me extremely conscious. But a huge part of self-acceptance happened through my education...I completed a master’s degree in Psychology and that really helped me become more empathetic, and love and accept myself. People think that modelling is tough on women, but this profession helped me explore my body and taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin. We blame society for filling little girls’ heads with insecurities, and it is true. The message you send out can work on a very subconscious level, if one is not mindful. But what about women who are mean to other women? Comments like, ‘You look so thin/fat’, ‘Her skin is so fair and beautiful’, ‘Your acne looks painful’ can deeply affect a person’s self-esteem. I have always admired my mom—she is so comfortable and happy in her skin, and that helps me be kinder to myself. I also admire Ashley Graham for her confidence and personality...and the change she has brought in the industry.”
Photograph: Praveen Muniyappa; Styling: Siddo; Production, Post-Production and Location: Studio C9, Bengaluru
44. Gayle Dweltz,“Growing up in a society where everyone has authentic Indian features, which I didn’t, made me feel like an outsider. Like, I didn’t fit in or belong here...and that made me feel insecure. Freckles aren’t exactly an ‘Indian’ look. But over the years, I have come to love my freckles—they are a part of me. Not every face or body is perfect. Loving who you are makes you happier and ready to face anything that comes your way. Women are pressured to look perfect and have perfect skin. And we kill ourselves to achieve that in more ways than one. But why are only women bound with so many standards? We’ve been made to believe that if you look pretty and have a slim body, you will be more successful. I have come to realise that my freckles make me feel confident, and they are the reason I am who I am. I respect and look up to people who are happy in their own bodies and love themselves for who they are. Accepting your body isn’t always easy, but once you do, there’s no looking back. I’ve never loved my skin and body more than I do now.”
Agency: Anima Creative Management
55. Divya Khosla Kumar, Actor, Director,
and“I always listen to my body...I think it’s very important. For example, I cheat on my diet if my body is craving something. On days that I don’t feel like exercising, I don’t push it. Over the years, I have come to understand my body and what it needs, and that has led to a very healthy relationship. I don’t think I’ve ever felt insecure about it, but that doesn’t mean that I have never had any body issues...everyone has them. I had gained a lot of weight as a teenager because I was on medication for irregular periods. But my mother encouraged me to exercise, helping me deal with it in a healthy way. When I look around, I see so many women who have got Botox or fillers, even young girls are getting work done to their faces because they’re made to feel insecure because of the unrealistic standards of beauty we idolise. I know that women feel a lot more pressure to look a certain way, but men, especially the ones working in the film industry, face it, too. We need to understand that people are never going to be happy, but one must not punish themselves or their bodies because of it.”
66. Elli Avrram,“When I was young, I wasn’t aware of what people considered beautiful. Things changed when I entered my teenage years—I heard boys talk about what they liked about girls; and girls discussed what they didn’t like about themselves and wished they could change. I suddenly became aware of the beauty ideals that ruled the world, and, as a result, I started picking out my own flaws. There was a time when I absolutely hated my nose. For a whole year, I kept looking at my nose and wishing it was super-tiny and Barbie-level perfect. My smile was another thing I was conscious about. I did everything I could to not show my teeth. However, as I learned to live with these ‘flaws’, things around me changed drastically. There’s one set of people who, rather than embracing themselves, are resorting to plastic surgery and implants—turning into clones of one another. Seriously, everyone looks the same on social media! And the other set is all about flaunting their imperfections. I feel slight ‘imperfections’ look exotic in a sea of seemingly perfect people...and that, for me, is beautiful. I have learned the importance of truly loving my body, and the importance of telling it so! I like letting my body know that I love it every single day, and that I think it’s beautiful just the way it is... It’s so strange that we lift others up—be it in a relationship, or our friends and family—by expressing that we love them for who they are, but we forget to do that for ourselves. We forget to nurture and take care of our own bodies.”
77. Mansi,“My parents raised my brother and me to be very grateful to have beautiful, healthy, and well-functioning bodies and minds, and I’ve tried to keep it that way as much as I could. I was teased in school for being lanky, but I never really let it bother me. However, I always felt like I ‘had to’ lose weight for I read, heard, and saw it so often in mainstream media... And as that narrative was especially aimed at women, I automatically went into this frenzy where I thought I had to do it, too—even though I was this growing and developing child! What worked for me was my experience of being a model. Initially, I would compare myself and wanted my body to look a certain way, but as I took on more work, I realised that I can’t change my body-type. I had to really look beyond the shackles I had placed upon myself, and cherish my body for what it was. So now I love my tiny butt, my strong arms, my fluffy brows, my big lips...everything! With everything and everyone so socially-engaged with each other, and a plethora of platforms telling you how you should look, it’s difficult to keep track. But one thing is for sure: the narrative refuses to truly accept diversity in the real world, no matter how much we preach it on our socials. And for that reason, for me, every woman who’s confident in her skin is a role model!”
Agency: Anima Creative Management
88. Tina Desai,“I have always been thin, petite and terribly underweight, but it never affected my energy levels or health because I’ve always had a healthy diet (thanks, mom!). In school, kids used to tease me about my size, but it was only casual and I never gave it much thought. In fact, I enjoyed the perks of being tiny because I was called upon to crawl under beds and slide behind cupboards to retrieve fallen items, which was a fun game for me. I enjoyed the ‘stunt work’. But once I began modelling, I was told to look ‘healthier’, so I began eating fatty foods, but nothing worked because of my metabolic rate! Working out at the gym made a huge difference to my body, though. It made me stronger, and I was hooked. While I took things in my stride, I know body-shaming affects many women on a deeper level. I really feel like one’s family and friends have the greatest influence over one’s thoughts and behaviour. Women are looked at as ‘symbols of beauty’, but as they say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Everyone’s opinion differs and we must realise that. How you perceive yourself is how you project yourself, and that, in turn, influences how people see you. So it’s most important for you to be who you want to be. Being confident about who you are will help you be the version of yourself.”
99. Namrata Tripathi,“Our body is our most loyal, life-long companion. And I believe that taking care of our ‘emotional body’ lets our physical body naturally take care of itself. Therefore, I feed myself with a tonne of positivity, and as a result, my body and I share this beautiful, content relationship. We, as a society, are confined to a box of pre-set beauty standards...anything that doesn’t match the norm is a flaw. I have a gap in my front teeth, and I realised fairly early in life that this particular feature doesn’t fit the ‘ideal description’. I have always been a confident person, but I’d be lying if I said this gap never made me insecure. But how can you expect people to like you if you don’t completely like yourself? My profession has helped me overcome many insecurities. It made me witness the beauty in diversity, not just on papers or posts, but for real. I used to think that my tooth-gap might affect my career, but it has been one of my greatest tools. I have got jobs because of it and, in fact, it has helped me get most of my international placements. I think discrimination on the basis of one’s appearance is the most toxic thing. Making someone feel insecure in their skin by using words like ‘You are too dark, or too fair’, ‘Too curvy or too flat’, ‘Too tall or too short’ is criminal! Beauty lies in diversity. But while I feel that way, my exposure to externalities—movies, advertisements, social gatherings, and even the match-making process—tells me that society has a long way to go when it comes to accepting all kinds of beauty.”
Agency: Anima Creative Management
1010. Neelam Kaur Gill,“I grew up feeling incredibly insecure about my looks, and my body in particular. I desperately wanted to ‘fit in’. I remember feeling ashamed because all of my friends were going through puberty, going bra shopping, etc, and I didn’t understand why my body wasn’t progressing the same way. I would stare at myself in the mirror for hours and truly hated the way I looked. I wore glasses and braces, and I never saw myself as pretty. And then I was thrown into the world of fashion, where I was being praised for the slender body I grew up feeling ashamed of... It was definitely a confusing time. My job involves a high level of scrutiny when it comes to physical appearance, so just as quickly as someone compliments you, they can also tear you apart... And because of that, I have learned to develop a thick skin and taken the time to work on my self-image, instead of placing something so important in other people’s hands. It makes me sad when I think back to how many years I spent feeling like that. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve slowly started to feel more comfortable in my skin. I’ve been lucky to travel the world because of my job, and I’ve met so many people. It’s taught me that everyone has insecurities. Even people who I would consider ‘perfect’! Insecurities and flaws are natural. It’s a part of life. But you can’t let them control your life. We are all different, and that’s what makes us beautiful.”
Agency: First Access Entertainment
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