'She is 19' and Millie Bobby Brown's fiancé is 20 but only women's choices are dissected

Okay, a show of hands. Who among us has not shapeshifted into a fuzzy green monster at one point or another while stalking a celebrity? From photos on a private plane (we’re looking at you, Kylie Jenner!), and gorgeous outfits to their dreamy weddings and million-dollar homes—glimpses into their life make us need a minute to pick up our jaws off the floor. It seems like they have it all. After all, who wouldn’t want to be rich, hot and famous? They are fortunate, indeed. However, being a public figure comes with some baggage, for instance, they are deprived of privacy and the world thinks they have some say in their personal life. And the fact of the matter is that trolling is especially brutal if the celebrity in question is a woman. We aren’t saying that male celebrities aren’t called out or are given a free pass but they don’t know what it feels like to have their life’s decisions turned into debates on public forums. Irrespective of what you do or don't do, celebrity or non-celebrity, people seem to find it thrilling to dissect a woman's choices. 

Case in point—Millie Bobby Brown’s recent engagement to her boyfriend of three years Jake Bongiovi. As adorable as her post was (how could it not be with those Taylor Swift lyrics *holds back tears*), what ensued shortly after was like a feast for trolls. Comments about a celebrity engagement are expected but Brown’s announcement took a nasty turn when people started questioning how a 19-year-old can be engaged (no, she isn’t Eleven! I’ve read this joke a gazillion times on my feed. STOP).  

Soon ‘She is 19' started trending on Twitter with netizens sharing their unwanted opinions on her engagement. They disparaged her and said she shouldn’t ‘rush into marriage’ and that it could lead to her being divorced very young. This also opened the meme floodgate. People started posting jokes about what they were doing in their life while Brown is getting engaged at 19 and these started floating all over social media. Did we blank out at the part where Brown asked for public votes on whether she should say yes to the man she loves? Sure, you can have your opinion on getting engaged young but it's her life and she doesn't deserve to become meme fodder. 

The toxicity of parasocial relationships with celebrities  

Parasocial relationships are when one person is invested in the other person's life while the other is completely unaware of their existence. Celebrities often bear the brunt of such connections as people feel way too involved in their lives. Whether they are breaking up or getting married, the public feels they need to be a part of their lives and choices. This can feel very invasive to public figures who may feel their lives are being unnecessarily scrutinised. These celebrities can stand up for themselves but they can’t shut down an entire army of trolls gunning for them just for a few laughs. And this trolling is especially brutal if the celebrity in question is a woman. They are body shamed, slammed for what they wear and turned into memes. While Brown decided to get engaged at 19, she also became a subject of global interest, and people felt the need to comment as if her choices are directly impacting their lives. 

Why no one’s talking about ‘he’s only 20’ 

Brown's fiance, Jake Bongiovi, is all of 20 himself. Is it okay for him to rush into marriage and be divorced young? Why isn’t anyone dissecting his decision to propose to his girlfriend? “He is 20’ should be trending as well, shouldn’t it? Brown is being brutally trolled for her decision to say yes why isn't he being put through the wringer for proposing? We are not saying he should be trolled as well. We are happy he can sleep well without thinking about which meme fest will unleash upon him. But this disparity reeks of the redundant gender script that men and their choices are not up for debate. Between Malaika Arora and Arjun Kapoor, it was definitely the former who was trolled more for the age gap. Similarly, Nick Jonas wasn't trolled for dating an older woman but Priyanka Chopra Jonas was called a gold digger (everyone knows, she doesn't need to do that!)

Why do we act like we have a stake in the life choices of female celebs? 

This isn’t the first time a woman celebrity was thrashed online for a choice she made and we are ready to bet our year's salary that it won’t be the last. Let’s look at some more enraging examples! Do you remember all the times Priyanka Chopra was trolled and shamed for being with a man 11 years younger? Similarly, Malaika was called old and desperate for dating Arjun Kapoor who is 12 years younger than her. And Ankita Konwar is continuously trolled for her relationship with Milind Soman. On the other hand, Jennifer Aniston continues to be pulled into the Pitt-Jolie love triangle decades after their breakup. She is slammed and pitied for her choice to be single. Why should she or anyone else's personal decisions be a matter of public discussion? 

More recently, Alia Bhatt was trolled for dating a ‘casanova’ like Ranbir Kapoor and then having a child so soon after marriage. People on social media went on to calculate a timeline of her pregnancy to see if it added up with her wedding to Kapoor. Malicious rumours like ‘the only reason he married her was that she was pregnant’ started taking over social media.   

No matter their choice, it seems like women celebrities can’t win. Just because they chose to share their lives with the world doesn’t mean they want or need ruthless comments.  

‘She is 19’ and she’s already a millionaire  

Sure, Brown is 19 years old but she is also an award-winning actor who in her 10-year-long career has become a global household name. Not to mention she is worth millions ($15 million to be exact) and has more life experience than most middle-aged adults. Why isn’t this trending? She is a teenage millionaire, people should be talking about her achievements. Instead, people are talking about her decision to marry young and how it will end in divorce. How can you possibly predict that her relationship will end soon depending solely on her age? It makes no sense. 

The bottom line is that no matter what a person’s life choices are, it’s theirs. Be it marrying young or marrying someone younger or having a child right after marriage, it’s none of anyone else’s business. Why is the concept of live and let live so difficult for people to comprehend when it comes to female public figures?  

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