5 Types of Toxic Lovers You Should Not Be Entertaining in 2021 (In fact, Start Now!)

From commitment-phobes to dudes who only text 'What are u wearing?' and more, author of Love, Lust and Lemons and relationship expert, Shahzeen Shivdasani, shares how to have a better love-life in 2021!

08 December, 2020

5 Types of Toxic Lovers You Should Not Be Entertaining in 2021 (In fact, Start Now!)

From commitment-phobes to dudes who only text 'What are u wearing?' and more, author of Love, Lust and Lemons and relationship expert, Shahzeen Shivdasani, shares how to have a better love-life in 2021!

"While it is time to say goodbye to the year that past by us, it is also time to say goodbye to the men that serve us breadcrumbs. This year has given us all the opportunity to slow down, reflect and find out what matters to us most. Let us use the lessons learnt and walk away from the men that only bring us angst, anxiety and self -doubt. Take a look at the types of men you shouldn’t be entertaining in 2021!"

1Shahzeen Shivdasani, author and relationship"While it is time to say goodbye to the year that past by us, it is also time to say goodbye to the men that serve us breadcrumbs. This year has given us all the opportunity to slow down, reflect and find out what matters to us most. Let us use the lessons learnt and walk away from the men that only bring us angst, anxiety and self -doubt. Take a look at the types of men you shouldn’t be entertaining in 2021!"

"We waste so much time dating someone knowing fully well that they aren’t looking for anything serious. However, as women, we stay in these relationships thinking that with time he will get attached and want commitment. WRONG! If a guy is openly telling you that a relationship is off the table please listen to him, accept what he is saying, and change tables," says Shahzeen.

2The commitment phobe:"We waste so much time dating someone knowing fully well that they aren’t looking for anything serious. However, as women, we stay in these relationships thinking that with time he will get attached and want commitment. WRONG! If a guy is openly telling you that a relationship is off the table please listen to him, accept what he is saying, and change tables," says Shahzeen.

"Oh isn’t he the most charming? Like a moth to a flame, he will ween you in with his good looks, wit and you will find him absolutely irresistible. However, what makes him so captivating is the fact that you think he will leave his trend of hooking up behind and you will be that one special girl who will get him to commit. Sorry, to break it you, but this boy’s angle is only working on you because it's been practised many times before and is probably being practised as you read."

3The play boy:"Oh isn’t he the most charming? Like a moth to a flame, he will ween you in with his good looks, wit and you will find him absolutely irresistible. However, what makes him so captivating is the fact that you think he will leave his trend of hooking up behind and you will be that one special girl who will get him to commit. Sorry, to break it you, but this boy’s angle is only working on you because it's been practised many times before and is probably being practised as you read."

"If you notice any signs of emotional or mental abuse please step away from dating any such men. This quickly can turn into physical abuse and you don’t want to wait for things to get worse. He will initially be extremely sweet and loving. However, it will quickly turn into talking down to you, alienating you from the people you love, and find ways to control you. Please recognise the signs early on and leave."

4The Abuser:"If you notice any signs of emotional or mental abuse please step away from dating any such men. This quickly can turn into physical abuse and you don’t want to wait for things to get worse. He will initially be extremely sweet and loving. However, it will quickly turn into talking down to you, alienating you from the people you love, and find ways to control you. Please recognise the signs early on and leave."

"If he is only into himself then there is certainly no room for you! When getting to know such a guy in the early stages, his inflated self -importance may seem attractive because let’s face it, we see it as confidence. This façade will fade pretty quickly. This type of guy will never listen attentively, make every situation about himself and eventually, you will end up feeling that you might as well be dating a wall."

5The self-involved guy:"If he is only into himself then there is certainly no room for you! When getting to know such a guy in the early stages, his inflated self -importance may seem attractive because let’s face it, we see it as confidence. This façade will fade pretty quickly. This type of guy will never listen attentively, make every situation about himself and eventually, you will end up feeling that you might as well be dating a wall."

"You have this great connection with someone but they are never truly there for you when you need them, sound familiar? You will find yourself waiting hours for a text or a callback and sometimes not even get it till the next day. If you are dating someone like this, they are surely not that into you and you deserve better then to be a mere afterthought. In the simplest terms, relationships are about showing up when you are needed. That’s all they truly come down to."

6The Ghoster:"You have this great connection with someone but they are never truly there for you when you need them, sound familiar? You will find yourself waiting hours for a text or a callback and sometimes not even get it till the next day. If you are dating someone like this, they are surely not that into you and you deserve better then to be a mere afterthought. In the simplest terms, relationships are about showing up when you are needed. That’s all they truly come down to."

Shahzeen says, "We’ve all been there and we’ve all dated these types of men. However, this doesn’t need to become a pattern. When dating, it is important to keep in mind what you are not looking for so that you know what you are looking for. And yes, it may take time to find the man of your dreams but that doesn’t mean you should waste your time with men that don’t deserve you."

7Step 1 to root out toxicShahzeen says, "We’ve all been there and we’ve all dated these types of men. However, this doesn’t need to become a pattern. When dating, it is important to keep in mind what you are not looking for so that you know what you are looking for. And yes, it may take time to find the man of your dreams but that doesn’t mean you should waste your time with men that don’t deserve you."

Because, the thing about dreams is that it takes courage, a little bit of faith and never ever settling for less!

8f6454652642d4f0182ce6e0f05c43748_0.gifBecause, the thing about dreams is that it takes courage, a little bit of faith and never ever settling for less!

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