Are you the walking red flag in your relationship?

Relationships are mirrors that show parts of you that need attention.

By Taronish Batty
01 October, 2023
Are you the walking red flag in your relationship?

We've all been guilty of pointing out the 'red flags' in others. Of course, finding red flags in the opposite person is very easy (and more of a pastime these days), but I believe most of us are in denial and we believe we don't have any. It's time to do some soul-searching to see if you're the problem in the relationship. Here are a few indicators that you may be the walking red flag in your relationship.

Chasing someone who just got out of a relationship for a commitment 

I'm looking at all you girlies in situationships. Chances are, the person you're casually seeing isn't looking for a commitment or isn't ready to go all in yet because they recently ended a relationship. Yes, it happens to the best of us, but do keep in mind that they are on a different wavelength than you and there's a strong possibility this will lead nowhere. Chasing someone who cannot commit to you in the manner you are ready to, and refusing to accept it, is a red flag.

Expecting a commitment because you had sex

Sex is the celebration of an openly discussed and mutually agreed-upon healthy relationship. Sex is also a way to celebrate your own body, but being intimate with someone does not automatically imply they will want to commit to you. Having the preconceived notion that sex usually leads to commitment is doing you more harm than good. It is critical to discuss boundaries and what it means to get physical with each other. Whether it's casual, no strings attached, or even a relationship. Assuming someone will commit to you based on physicality is a big no-no.

red flag in relationships

Stalking your ex and bad-mouthing their current partner on the Internet

Humans are naturally nosy. And for many of us, there is nothing more interesting than learning about other people's lives. We understand break-ups are difficult but stalking and slandering your ex's current relationship is a destructive cycle that will only make you feel worse. It prevents you from progressing and deters your personal development and evolution outside of the relationship. 

Love bombing your partner

Love bombing is a type of psychological and emotional abuse in which a person goes above and beyond for their partner to influence them into entering into a relationship with them. Showering someone with extravagant presents, putting pressure on them to pick up the pace and make the relationship exclusive, getting irritated with them for spending time with other friends or family members rather than you, etc. are all examples of love bombing. If you do any of these, you might be love bombing someone.

Romanticising about them excessively

If you find yourself chronically daydreaming and romanticising your partner without paying attention to who they truly are; so much so that you overwrite your reality and what's going on between you two, then it is a red flag. When you romanticise someone or something, you think or talk about them in a way that is unrealistic and makes them appear better than they are. When you romanticise someone you can become highly delusional about the scenario which can only lead to being hurt.