Here's how to make your partner sweat with some steamy dirty talk

Dirty talk has been a tricky minefield for me to navigate. I am bold while getting it on over text but tongue-tied when it comes to being in the act with the other person. And I’m (hoping) I’m not alone. So, I did what I usually do—write my way out of it to ace the dirty talk game. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship, have friends-with-benefits or live together, dirty talk can be fun and super hot. Here’s everything you need to know to turn up the heat using only words. 

Consent is key

Dirty talk can get infinitely easier and fun if your partner is willing to experiment and explore with you. So, it’s always best to check in how comfortable they feel with talking dirty, coming up with a safe word, and understanding their boundaries. If you want to indulge in some steamy sexting, it could begin with a quick and easy question such as, “I can’t stop thinking about last night…can I tell you about it from my perspective?” or “I’m in the mood tonight…how comfortable are you with exchanging some steamy messages?” If you’re in person, gauge the vibe and level of intimacy, and let the conversation flow naturally. 

Be confident—even when you’re not

Dirty talk can be stress-inducing and can sometimes make you nervous—especially if you haven’t done it before. But here’s our pro tip: go for it anyway. If you and boo are experimenting with dirty talk for the first time during a steamy sesh, chances are, they’re equally nervous. But brushing aside the nervousness and saying things like, “What do you feel like doing to me?” or “I love how you look at me when I’m turned on,” or “I love when you moan like that” or even, “Let me take care of you,” will only make things steamier. 

Don’t be too aggressive and respect your partner’s boundaries 

It’s important to remember that there are different levels of dirty talk—it can go from simple statement to using profane and aggressive language to express your wants and desires. However, not everyone may be comfortable with the use of profanity and it may even be a turn off for some. For example, your partner may not like the use of words like c*** or w**** or even cuss words such as f***. Establish these boundaries for yourself and your partner and stick to them for a fun experience. 

Play games 

We don’t mean play 20 Questions while you’re turning up the heat in the bedroom, but a quick round of ‘what ifs’ or ‘This or that’ might not be such a bad idea. These could be questions such as, “If you could bring someone home to have threesome, who would it be?” or “Would you rather choose doggy style or missionary?” If you’re in public, a great way to begin a sexy (af) conversation would be, “If we were alone right now, what would you do first?” Besides this, you can also indulge in some roleplay and express your wants through your words. Whether it’s words like ‘princess’ or ‘sir’—use them to express whether you want to be the dominant or the submissive one. 

Be as descriptive as you can

Whether you’re indulging in some steamy sexting or getting it on in person, everyone loves the details of dirty talk. Instead of saying, “You look so sexy while doing that,” you can say, “You look so sexy while rubbing your hands up and down my thigh.” Moaning and other such reactions can be a huge turn on for some people so instead of saying, “I love the way you moan,” you can say, “I love the way you moan while I’m going down on you.” Engaging in detailed dirty talk is likely to turn them on even more.