How to Comfort Someone in Difficult Situations

In the pandemic, most of us have faced unprecedented situations and have also seen friends and loved ones go through tough situations. At times, you would want to reach out to people you are close to and tell them that you are there for them. But the words may fail you. You maybe at a loss to express it verbally and make them feel better. So we spoke to Kamna Chhibber, clinical psychologist, head of department, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Healthcare and she tells us what exactly to say and do when someone you know is going through a difficult phase in life. Read on to find out more

Someone going through a divorce

1. tell them you are available to listen to what they are going through.

2. Share your opinion only when if they ask for it.

3. Do not advice them on how things could have been different.

4. Remind them that their feelings are temporary and how they should look towards the future.

Someone fighting a chronic illness

1. Be honest, do not tell them things would be ok instead ask them how they would like you to be involved in the process.

2. Offer to be with them during doctor appointments and difficult treatments.

3. Do not seem over eager or push them into sharing their treatment details with you. Let them open up to you gradually. Remember people have their own ways of coping with challenges. Allow them to find their own ways of expression.

4. Talk to them about the positive stories out there, tell them about people who have been in similar situation and have emerged stronger and better out of it. 

Someone who has lost their job

1. Make them understand that these are difficult times.

2. Encourage them to not personalise the situation or to look at it as a substantial skill deficit.

3. Help them acknowledge all that they have achieved in the time that they were working.

4. Provide them with the support to chalk out the next plan.

5. Ensure that you touch base with them and remind them that every individual experiences setbacks and they should look at such instances as important lessons.

Someone who has had a death in the family

1. Let them grief at their own pace and comfort but do not let them isolate themselves. Grieving is a process and every individual would have their own way of coping with their sense of loss

2. Encourage them to maintain routines and chores as far as possible.

3. Tell them how they are loved and valued by others in their life.

4. Allow them to share their thoughts and feelings and do not stop them or reject what they are saying.
 

Someone who has had a breakup

1. Talk to them about how these are life experiences help us learn.

2. Remind them that what seems difficult to cope with right now would eventually settle and they would be able to move forward.

3. Ask them to share when they feel stuck on a thought or feel like reaching out to their ex.

4. Help them follow a routine, this will help them move forward.