How to increase sexual intimacy in your relationship

Hint: slow it down

25 July, 2023
How to increase sexual intimacy in your relationship

Sex is the easiest part of any relationship. Getting down and dirty doesn’t require much effort; all you need is mutual attraction, consent, a private space, and general know-how. However, building a connection and improving your sexual intimacy with someone is a whole other story. Sexual intimacy is a connection between partners that relies on an emotional bond and mutual trust to take your big Os to a whole new level. This requires you to go out of your way to allow yourself to be vulnerable and pleasure your partner in a way they want to be pleased. Of course, you can have sex with someone without getting your emotions involved, but if you’re looking at a healthy, long-term relationship with someone, sexual intimacy is one of the keys to achieving that goal. Read on to know how you can build or improve your sexual intimacy. 

Play with yourself often 

Sexual intimacy isn’t just about having sex or enjoying foreplay. Before any of that, you first need to know your own body. Go on an exploration journey and get to know your pleasure points. Don’t think of it as masturbation; it’s about being comfortable enough with your desires and in your own skin. Once you are, you can also give your partner clear directions that will help you take your sexy time sessions to a new level. If you don’t know where to start, we suggest reading erotica books or listening to erotic audiobooks to get a clearer picture of what you want and like. 

Another great way to enhance your sexual intimacy is mutual masturbation. It creates an opportunity for both partners to get a feel of how and where the other likes to be touched (among other things if you catch our drift!). Also, being vulnerable in this manner is bound to strengthen the connection you’ll share.  


Have outercourse 

Outercourse a.k.a. dry humping is an effective way of increasing your sexual intimacy with your partner. Before you write this off as a rookie suggestion, hear us out. Outercourse builds sexual tension before you actually get into the sheets. Slowly grinding on your partner while maintaining eye contact and talking dirty (if that’s what you are into) will turn both of you and improve your sexual connection. Outercourse is an umbrella term so you can also use this method to dip your toes into other things you want to ease into your penetrative sex routine to shake things up. 

Sext, sext, sext! 

This is for all my girls who find it tough to tell their partners what they want done to them (sexually speaking) or what they want to do, out loud. It might be easier to do it in writing in the form of a sext. Don’t scrunch your eyebrows. Sending a dirty message isn’t just for lovesick teenagers. Think of sexting as a mode of communication. Part of building sexual intimacy is being able to have conversations about sex and your preferences during the act. Talk about your fantasies or what you’d do if you’ll were in a room alone or what you wish you’ll were doing at the moment. Sending your partner NSFW texts can help build anticipation for when you’ll are intimate next. This anticipation makes the sex hot, heavy, and passionate!  


Practice slow, sensual sex  

Sensual sex focuses on pleasure more than performance. It encourages you slow things down and double up the foreplay. You can also introduce new sensations in the mix to break away from the monotony. Think ice, roleplay, or anything else that you’ve wanted to try. Get creative, the sky is the limit under the sheets. Slow, more sensual sex can help you build or rebuild a sexual relationship with your partner that goes beyond orgasms. What is the rush? Don’t be in a haste to climax, enjoy the journey and watch how your connection makes your orgasms more intense than ever.