How not to let your first date turn into an interview

It's a thin line.

01 April, 2024
How not to let your first date turn into an interview

First dates always give you the jitters—you wonder how the date will go, what they would be like, how they smell, what they do, where do they love to travel, are they spiritual, basically, everything that is to know about them. And the moment you meet them, you can't wait to ask them every little thing and to get to know them better. However, in the process, your date can slowly start feeling like an interview. And it's such a common occurence that there's even a term for it: 'daterview'. But there are ways you can avoid crossing this thin line. 

Don’t yap away all evening; listen more 

On a first date, it's important to ensure both of you are engaging in a two-way conversation rather than having a monologue. Practising active listening is crucial. Instead of dominating the conversation with your own stories or questions, take the time to genuinely listen to what your date is saying. Ensure that the dialogue flows both ways, with both of you contributing equally. Allow space for your date to express themselves and share their thoughts, interests, and experiences.

Don’t stress unnecessarily 

Keep the conversation light and relaxed. It's not necessary to know each other's every single life detail or traits the very first time you meet. Remember, it's an opportunity to have a good time. Instead of worrying about every little detail or overthinking the situation, focus on enjoying the moment and being yourself. Be genuine, have fun, and let things unfold naturally.

Prepare some easy first-date questions 

Preparing some light first date questions can help facilitate enjoyable conversations and alleviate any initial nervousness. Consider asking about their favourite hobbies, movies, or travel destinations to spark engaging discussions. You can also inquire about their interests or passions, such as food preferences or music tastes to uncover common ground and shared experiences. By preparing these light and open-ended questions in advance, you can ensure a smooth flow of conversation and create a comfortable atmosphere where both of you can freely express yourselves and connect on a deeper level.

Don't try to fill the silences 

Avoid bombarding your date with rapid-fire questions and allow for moments of silence to naturally pass. These pauses provide opportunities for reflection and help prevent the conversation from feeling overwhelming or forced. Embrace these brief interludes as chances to absorb what has been discussed and to consider your responses thoughtfully. This way, you create a more relaxed atmosphere where both you and your date can engage in deeper, more meaningful conversations at your own pace.

Remember, the goal is to get to connect with them 

Sharing personal stories is a key aspect of getting to know each other on a first date. Remember, the ultimate aim is mutual understanding and connection. By sharing anecdotes from your life, you offer glimpses into your personality, experiences, and values, which can help your date understand you better. Likewise, encourage your date to share their stories, creating a foundation for deeper connection and rapport. 


Feature image credit: Before Sunrise 

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