#PrideSpecial: There's an ally for everyone with Param Sahib

Six fabulous LGBTQIA+ individuals write heartfelt letters to their first shoulder to lean on! Here's designer and artist, Sahib's warm words for his first ally, Anshul.

17 June, 2024
#PrideSpecial: There's an ally for everyone with Param Sahib

Dear Anshul, 

When I think about us, words can fall short but jokes will never. The dirtier, the better. Haha!

I couldn’t ever think of finding a support system and comfort zone in you, but I’m glad and thankful that I did. In college, we spent years together as flatmates, and then always stayed connected. When I came out to you after college—on one of our random Scooty rides at night—you told me that you always knew. And that was the most special thing, as you gave me the space and respect to come out at my own time, in my own comfort level.

I still remember when I wasn’t out to anyone and you caught me red-handed on a date at our house. I froze at that moment; I had jitters thinking that this news was going to spread. You could have turned it into gossip but, my love, you didn’t. You respected my privacy. Today, we can laugh out loud about that very incident.


A post shared by PARAMSahib (@parambanana)

You would make fun of my clothes, which I tolerated but you never allowed anyone to say anything about them. Now that’s the sign of a keeper!

I hid my sexuality from everyone back in college but certainly, I didn’t have to. My fashion, my behaviour, my outrageously wild personality, and the fact that I belonged ‘to the community’ were never a concern for you, and that, my friend, is precious to me.

I may not have a lot of friends and confidants in the community but I have found my support system in my heterosexual friendships, which I think is rare. And I feel really thankful to God that I can blindly rely on them.

After knowing you so profoundly for years, I can say that you are THE best friend one could ever ask for. You can come across as prude, unapproachable, and loud, but once someone gets to know you, they would want to keep you forever. And TBH, that makes me jealous but also happy for you.

That’s why you are my proud ally! 


This article originally appeared in Cosmopolitan India Magazine's May-June 2024 print issue.

Image credit: Shradha Swaminathan

Also read: #PrideSpecial: There's an ally for everyone with Kaustav Dey

Also read: #PrideSpecial: There's an ally for everyone with Apurva Asrani