#SaneGirlEra: Why people are paying strangers to build their fake social media lives—and what it says about us

In today’s digital world, standing out on social media has become essential. Likes, shares, and followers have become a social currency that seems to unlock everything from career opportunities to validation. And with a growing pressure to be seen and celebrated, many have begun outsourcing their online lives, paying strangers to create their online personas—from picture-perfect feeds to engaging captions and even fake interactions. But it’s not just influencers chasing digital fame. Regular people, small businesses, and job seekers are all jumping on the bandwagon. Some hire professional photographers to stage "candid" moments, while others turn to agencies to flood their comment sections with praise.

With the promise of a fast track to online success, the real question remains: what does this say about us? And at what point does the illusion start costing more than it’s worth?

Why are people paying for a fake online life?

It’s easy to see why the trend is taking off: More followers make you look credible. More likes make you seem popular. A carefully curated feed gives the impression of effortless success. In a world where perception often outweighs reality, looking influential can sometimes feel more important than actually being influential.

But beneath the aesthetics and engagement metrics, something deeper is happening. We’re no longer just using social media—we’re performing for it. The desire to be seen, liked, and admired has slowly replaced the freedom to just be. And somewhere along the way, the idea of simply existing online as our real, unfiltered selves has started to feel like it's not enough.

The pressure to maintain an idealised digital life isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about chasing approval, often at the expense of mental well-being.

Validation dependency: The instant gratification of likes and comments can create an addiction, where self-worth becomes tied to numbers on a screen.

Escapism in a curated reality: A staged social media presence offers an illusion of perfection, providing a temporary escape from real-life struggles.

The pressure to ‘perform’: Social norms push unrealistic standards of beauty, success, and happiness, making authenticity feel like a risk rather than a strength.

 

Breaking the cycle

While paying for social media clout might seem like an easy fix, it rarely leads to meaningful engagement or lasting impact. So how do we break the cycle? 

Cultivate social media awareness: Remind yourself that most of what you see online is carefully curated, not an unfiltered reality.

Embrace authenticity: The imperfect, unpolished moments resonate far more than manufactured perfection.

Prioritise self-worth beyond metrics: Focus on real-life achievements, personal growth, and meaningful interactions rather than digital approval.

Challenge unrealistic expectations: Push back against the societal pressure to conform to rigid ideals. Instead, celebrate diversity in success, beauty, and individuality.

Champion vulnerability: Real stories, honest conversations, and genuine connections have far more impact than a polished facade.

At the end of the day, paying for social media engagement might get you noticed, but it won’t build real influence. True connection comes from being yourself—flaws, quirks, and all. So instead of chasing a perfect online persona, maybe the real flex is just being real. Because at the end of the day, the most impactful thing you can offer the digital world is you.

Sane Girl Era is our latest column featuring psychologist Chumki Bose, who pens down her expert advice to help Cosmo readers find solace and sanity amidst the chaos.

Bose is a psychologist who focuses on marriage, relationships, family dynamics, personality disorders, trauma-related psychological issues, anxiety, depression, and existential crises.

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