Underlying red flags you must look out for on a first date

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15 November, 2023
Underlying red flags you must look out for on a first date

First dates, as we know them, are emotional rollercoasters. They are exciting and can cause jitters. They are most likely to turn your stomach into a sanctuary of butterflies, and if you even remotely like this person, chances are, you will feel all the above, but only 10 times more intense.

But while you are trying to make sense of all these feelings, there are chances you may miss out on the red flags that you see in them. While spotting these subtle hints can be a bit like playing a game of hide-and-seek, it's important to keep your eyes peeled for them as the stakes are higher and a budding romance may come of it. 


Here are a few instant first-date red flags that may help you make a better judgement:

Badmouthing exes 

While it may be perfectly normal to talk about your previous romantic experiences, constantly talking negatively about ex-partners may be a red flag you should look out for. It may signal unresolved issues, lingering resentment or an inability to move forward. Therefore, paying attention to how someone speaks about their past relationships can provide valuable insights into their emotional intelligence and overall relationship readiness.

Insists on going to a particular place without asking for your opinion 

A successful date involves shared interests and mutual decisions and the insistence on a specific location without considering your preferences may indicate a lack of respect for your input. This behaviour could suggest a self-centred approach or a disregard for the importance of collaboration in building a connection.

Immediately wanting to kiss or have sex 

Initiating a kiss or desire to get physically intimate too quickly may indicate a lack of boundaries and respect or a disregard for the other person's comfort level. It's important to gauge and respect each other's boundaries, ensuring you are both comfortable with the gradual progression of the relationship. At any given point, if you find yourself in an uncomfortable position, it is a sign to leave.

Reminder: A no is a no. And you should not have to explain it. 

Persistently requests your address for a pick-up, despite your refusal

Insisting on getting your address, especially after you have expressed your discomfort in sharing it, can be seen as a violation of your personal space and a potential sign of controlling behaviour. It's crucial to prioritise your safety and comfort, and someone who respects your decisions and boundaries is more likely to contribute to a positive and healthy relationship. If your date is pressing too much, you should reconsider your dynamics with this person. 

Suggests going to the bar on the first date 

While going to the bar may not necessarily be immediately problematic, it is important to asses the situation properly. For example: If the suggestion of a bar comes with a strong emphasis on alcohol consumption, it might indicate a reliance on substances for socialising or a potential discomfort with sober interactions. Secondly, bars are often characterised by loud environments and may not be the ideal setting for meaningful conversation and connection on a first date. It could be a red flag if someone consistently chooses settings that hinder genuine communication.

Rants non-stop 

Excessive ranting often carries a negative undertone, which might create an atmosphere of pessimism. If someone consistently focuses on grievances or complaints, it can be emotionally draining and set a negative tone for the date.