Wait, there's a word for that? 10 lesser-known sexualities to know about

Dating and attraction can look different for everyone, and the language we use to describe these experiences has evolved to reflect just how varied they can be. Beyond the familiar labels most of us grew up knowing, there are several lesser-known terms that help people better understand and articulate who they're attracted to and how they experience that attraction.

After all, attraction isn't always as straightforward as having a crush on someone, finding them attractive, or wanting to date them. For some people, it may depend on how well they know someone, whether those feelings are reciprocated, or even whether the attraction is directed towards another person at all. Sexual and romantic attraction can also work differently for different people, making the spectrum of experiences even more nuanced.

From experiencing attraction that fades as familiarity grows to feeling drawn to inanimate objects, here are some lesser-known sexualities and terms worth knowing. Think of this as a little guide to understanding the many ways people experience attraction.

Yes, this is a real term. Objectumsexuality describes people who experience romantic or sexual attraction towards inanimate objects. This could be anything from buildings and machines to other everyday objects. It is important to understand that this is an identity some people use to describe their experience of attraction, rather than simply finding an object aesthetically pleasing or being particularly attached to something. It is a reminder that attraction can look very different from what we might expect.

Ever found someone incredibly attractive when they were still a stranger, only to feel that spark disappear once you got to know them? Fraysexuality describes people who experience sexual attraction towards someone initially, but find that attraction fading as they develop a closer emotional connection. It is sometimes described as the opposite of demisexuality, where sexual attraction develops only after an emotional bond has been established.

Skoliosexual

Skoliosexual is a term some people use to describe sexual attraction towards non-binary people or those who don't strictly identify themselves as male or female. However, the term has been debated within LGBTQ+ communities, partly because it can make diverse gender identities sound like one category of attraction. As with any identity label, individual preferences and definitions matter, so it is worth being mindful of the language people choose for themselves.

Think of heteroflexible as an identity that sits close to heterosexuality, but leaves some room for fluidity. A heteroflexible person is primarily attracted to people of a different gender, but may occasionally experience attraction towards someone of the same gender. It is not necessarily the same as identifying as bisexual, and people may choose this label because it feels like a more accurate description of their experience.

Reciprosexual

For some people, attraction doesn't kick in until they know the feeling is mutual. That's where reciprocal sexuality, or recipsexuality, comes in. It describes someone who experiences sexual attraction only after becoming aware that another person is sexually attracted to them. So, unlike the classic rom-com scenario of falling for someone from across the room, knowing that the interest is returned is what may spark attraction.

Lithosexual

Also known as akoisexual, lithosexuality describes people who experience sexual attraction but do not necessarily want those feelings to be reciprocated. For some, the attraction may even fade once the other person returns their interest. This doesn't mean they are incapable of experiencing attraction. It simply describes a particular way in which that attraction works.

Demisexual

Who says attraction always has to be directed towards someone else? Autosexuality describes people who experience sexual attraction towards themselves. This can involve finding oneself sexually attractive or experiencing self-directed sexual desire. It is an orientation, and isn't simply another word for enjoying solo sex or masturbation.

Aegosexual

Aegosexuality is an identity generally associated with the asexual spectrum. People who identify this way may enjoy sexual fantasies, erotica, or sexual content, but experience a disconnect between those fantasies and wanting to participate in sexual activity themselves. In other words, enjoying the idea of something doesn't necessarily mean wanting to experience it in real life.

Cupiosexual

Cupiosexuality describes people who experience little or no sexual attraction but still desire a sexual relationship. It is a useful distinction because sexual attraction and the desire to have a sexual relationship are not always the same thing. Someone can want intimacy or a sexual partnership without experiencing attraction in the way other people might.

There is no universal checklist when it comes to attraction, and these labels aren't meant to put people into neatly defined boxes. Some people find comfort in having a word that describes their experience, while others prefer not to label themselves at all. 

Ultimately, knowing these terms isn't about trying to identify everyone around you or finding a new label for every dating experience. It's about understanding that attraction is personal, diverse, and rarely a one-size-fits-all experience.

Lead image: IMDb

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