Think of Prince Henry and Alex’s cross-continental relationship in Red, White & Royal Blue or John Tyree and Savannah Lyn in Dear John—long-distance relationships (LDRs) can be tricky to navigate and can leave you perpetually missing your beau and craving their physical presence. Unfortunately, when it comes to LDRs there’s little you can do other than indulge in occasional sexting and steamy video calls. And then there it is—the kind-of-anticipated-but-unwanted dry spell owing to the months of not seeing each other and being physically near each other.
But fret not—dry spells are completely normal. Apart from distance, a dry spell can also occur because of a hectic work schedule and feeling emotionally distant from your partner, among other reasons. A dry spell can cause you to feel like you don’t want to have sex or crave it more than ever but can’t seem to have it at that moment. Often, when you finally meet your partner, you know you’ve waited for the moment for a long time, but seem physically and mentally hesitant to have sex or be physically intimate with them. This is normal, too. But there are many ways in which you can overcome this feeling, become comfortable with your boo, and have the steamiest session ever. Read on.
Have an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling
Communication is perhaps the most effective way to break through the awkwardness after a long time of being apart. A dry spell doesn’t necessarily have to be a large problem at hand, but there’s little harm in sharing your concerns and expressing how both of you have been feeling about it. Ask your partner what would make them more comfortable and share your wants and needs. The conversation is a step towards resolving the discomfort you might be feeling.
Take things slow
We wish being in a long-distance relationship were as easy as running across an airport and jumping into our partner's arms or slamming the door shut to indulge in a *heavenly* make-out session. But after months of going without meeting, it would be unfair for either partner to expect the other to rush into things. If you or your beau is feeling hesitant, uncomfortable and awkward, we’d recommend taking things slow rather than just stripping down your clothes and jumping into bed. Starting with a few cuddles, some hand-holding, and gentle pecks, will make both feel more at ease.
Try something new
If you haven’t been feeling as sexy and into the whole physical intimacy thing after spending months apart, here’s our best secret: try something new. Experiment with positions you haven’t tried before or explore other ways of being intimate such as mutual masturbation, adding a sensual massage to the mix, experimenting with BDSM (if you’re into it), or even giving a shot at sex toys. Communicate what you want and what would make you feel good and ask your partner the same.
…Or go with what makes you feel most comfortable
A dry spell might entice you to get freaky and jump in to try new things. But sometimes, any discomfort, awkwardness or hesitancy can be overcome with familiar patterns. Go back to the positions that make you feel right at home with your boo, settle in with a movie and turn the heat up while cuddling or indulge in anything that makes you both feel safe and comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with revisiting your favourite ways of being intimate and then experimenting with new things a little later.
Plan a fun, romantic date
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, there’s a lot to tick off on the bucket list within the few days that you meet. Whether it’s spending a day at the beach, going bowling or chasing sunsets on a long drive—plan a fun, romantic date to spend some quality time with your partner. Talk about everything you have on your list, feel their presence, and be in love, again. Chances are, there will be a wave of comfort after you’ve spent the day with them and getting it on for the night won’t be as scary as you think it would.