The 'No New Friends' Quiz You Need to Take to Find Out Your Real Squad

1. You have a hangover and need carbs, stat. Plan of attack?

 a. Max out your data plan with group-chat brunch GIFs, then wait two hours for a table for 20.

 b. Head to your standing res, and shun anyone who shows up with a random plus-one.

 c. Order in. Instructions: bring it directly to bed.


2. You find a funny Insta meme to ‘tag your -besties’ in, so you:

 a. Tag your top 40, then brace for a tidal wave of notifications.

 b. Save it to your secret #SquadGoals Pinterest board.

 c. Comment #FollowBack with your dog’s personal account handle.


3. You be up in the club like:

 a. A pride of lions herded around the DJ booth, monopolising the dance floor.

 b. Huddled into a human Bermuda Triangle—no one gets in, no one gets out.

 c. Perhaps by club, you mean couch where I’m currently swaddled in my faux-fur blanket and memory-foam body pillow...


4. Groupon has a deal on flights to Bali and you have spare vacay days, so you:

 a. Book the world’s biggest Airbnb treehouse.

 b. Print your ’ship name on tees for when you form a beer-pong team at the airport bar.

 c. Buy one ticket to a jungle yoga retreat. Monkeys > people.


5. GNO karaoke means:

 a. Twerking in a conga line to Sorry—just like Bieber’s viral video dance crew.

 b. Choreographed side-eye to anyone who tries to join in on Bad Blood.

 c. Making a three-part Dubsmash compilation of Sex And The City’s best dialogues in the corner.


The breakdown

Mostly As

Maxed Out

You roll deep (read: cavernous). Plus, your massive crew is a package deal. The ultimate betrayal? Inviting only one of the Nehas to boozy brunch. A big group can make for an epic party, but it’s okay to pair off once in a while. Just don’t be shady—full disclosure is the way to go. 


Mostly Bs
Squad Obsessed

Your girl gang seems in sync.
They know everything, even the regularity of your loo trips. You have the number down to a science, and ain’t nobody messing with your clique. Caution: don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Show some love to friends on the fringe. You might realise they’re inner-circle material. 


Mostly Cs
Happy Solos

We’ve all been there, sitting in a groutfit covered in crumbs. Everyone needs an occasional break from girl time, but blowing off your friends too often may be putting you in a rut. Swap your sweats for your big-girl pants, and make plans that involve less Netflix and more chilling IRL.