23 Ways You Can Immediately Spice Up Your Sex Life

"After twenty years of marriage, there's a fairly good chance one of us is too tired to think about sex, so I'll challenge my husband to a game of ping pong. Somehow, the competition makes us very horny. So, in other words, table tennis is our Viagra." –S.M. & K.M, Westchester NY; married 20 years

"Sometimes when things have been too hectic and we haven't been making time for sex, I'll offer a massage with candles and oils. It relaxes both of us, and the intimate and gentle touching leads to kissing and then sex. It sets the mood for a slowed down, sensual night when we might otherwise be 'too tired.'" –N.R. & B. K., Richmond, VA; together for 4 years

"Sometimes I need a little extra somethin' somethin' to get in the mood. So I do all the things that feel like they're going to lead to sex — dim the lights, light candles, play romantic music, put on lingerie. If I'm feeling adventurous, I may even take out a sex toy or say I want to try a new game for some added fun." —T.O. and B.L., Brooklyn, NY; married 3 months

"At the end of the day, sometimes a good ol' hand job does the trick. I feel like it doesn't happen a ton once you've been together a while — it's usually straight-up sex or blow jobs — but if your guy is honest and says he likes it when you do it, then why not? At the very least, it keeps things from getting into too much of a routine." —K.B. and K.B., Richmond, VA; married 6 years

"Rather than jumping right into sex, sometimes I'll force the two of us to slow things down. We'll spend a lot of time making out like teenagers, then go on to foreplay before finally moving to sex. It builds up a lot of anticipation and obviously draws things out, so it feels really sexy." —K.W. and T.W., Queens, NY; married 3 years

"If there's one shopping weakness I have, it's for high heels. Which is completely impractical since I barely wear them anymore. Still, I have them, so I make use of them. I'll slip on a pair shortly before starting something with my husband and tell him I want to keep them on. It ends up being the only thing that I'm still wearing. He thinks it's kind of funny, but whatever — I think it's hot." —E.L. and J.L., Austin, TX; married 5 years

"Sometimes I'll wake my husband up by giving him oral. I'm a big fan of morning sex as a great way to start the day, and this way we both get steamy things to fantasize about while we're sitting in interminable meetings later." —J.S. and C.G., Queens, NY; married 3 years

"It may sound boring, but after chasing around our toddler all day I don't usually have the energy for a lot of sexy games. So if I feel like we've hit a slump, I just do it. Even if I'm not in the mood when I start, that usually changes after just a few minutes. Sometimes you just have to get the juices flowing." —E.L. and J.L., Austin, TX; married 5 years

"If my husband and I are getting ready to go out but I'm in the mood for a little action later, then I make sure to get dressed last and spend the entire time getting ready wearing just a sexy bra and panties. He almost always wants to do something right away, but I usually shoo him off. That way when we get home later, we're both practically bursting with anticipation." —S.L and D.L., New York, NY; married 1 year

"Never underestimate the power of a good pillow. Whenever I'm getting bored with missionary, or just not getting off from it, I'll put a pillow under my hips. Entirely new sensations for both of us — especially if I also squeeze my legs a little tighter — that keeps things interesting while we're going at it." —B.A. and C.B., Syracuse, NY; married 2 years

"After long work days, dinner, clean up, kids' baths, and bedtime stories, usually there's just enough time to plop into bed and watch some mind-numbing TV. So we started making out only during the commercials. As soon as the show comes back on, you have to hit pause on the makeout session. It can be frustratingly hot — and sometimes just plain funny — but either way it's great. And it's almost guaranteed to lead somewhere…whenever the show finally ends." —A.B. and D.B., Monroe, WA; married 8 years

"Clear the schedule, stock up on favorite foods, and spend the entire day at home. My husband and I do this from time to time, and when we do there are no clothes allowed. It pretty much guarantees we'll bang at least three times." —J.S. and C.G., Queens, NY; married 3 years

"I'm happy with our sex life, but I admit it's become pretty routine: on Fridays, after putting our daughter to bed, my husband meets me in our bedroom for some action. But last night I started fooling around with him on the couch, and I pretended not to hear him when he suggested we go upstairs. There was lots of dirty talk and positions we haven't attempted for years. We both went to sleep smiling and giggling. Next up: the den, the shower, and maybe even the car!" —S.P. and E.S., Houston; married 9 years

"I've always been too shy to tell him about my sex fantasies, and I'd never been inside a sex toy store, so walking up to the massive gadget display was making me blush. But he made a joke about a vibrator shaped like a rubber ducky and it totally broke the ice. So we browsed the shelves and left with a couples' vibrator so we could both feel some stimulation during sex. Let's just say there was an instant O, and we'll be going back to see what else we might like." —A.B. and E.A., Brooklyn, NY; married 3 years

"One word sums up our sex life since we had a child: missionary. So we instituted a new rule where we had to try a new position every week for a month. We decided not to consult sex manuals, but instead spontaneously tried whatever came to us in the moment. Week one was missionary with my legs on his shoulders, but then we got more creative: cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and, for our final performance, crouching tiger. Luckily there were no mishaps or injuries, just the constant fear that our son would walk in on us." —A.Y. and D.B., Centerville, OH; married 4 years

"Based on the book Forty Beads, I gave my husband a sack of little red beads and agreed that each time he put one on my nightstand, we'd have sex within 24 hours. He promptly walked over and dropped off a bead. It's so simple, but we actually had great sex that night — and many nights after that! It gets me in the mood so much more than the usual, 'So do you want to have sex tonight?' after a long day. Seeing the beads gave me time to prepare myself, and just thinking about sex throughout the day is such a turn-on." —L.M. and H.M., Arroyo Grande, CA; married 17 years

"I'm normally PDA-phobic, but my husband and I went to a nice Chinese restaurant, sat very close, and actually fed each other our meal. Then he started singing "You Are So Beautiful" very loud...and off-key. When it was time to leave, he danced me to the door. It was incredibly goofy, and people were staring, but much to my surprise, I didn't care.I had so much fun that we went home, watched a movie and, err, went to bed." —L.H. and J.H., San Bernardino, CA; married 1 year

"If you can get past the skeevy name, the Sexulator app lets you track your sexual frequency. If your stats dip, you'll clearly see it and hopefully feel motivated to get busy more. I love that I can leave messages for my husband — they're fun little secrets for him to get throughout the day." —T.M. and D.M., Chicago; married 16 years

"It involves a lot of planning, unfortunately — we had to change the meeting time twice because things came up at work — but when I got to the room it was totally worth it. The door was open and he was holding two glasses of champagne, which we downed before our brief, but very sexy, encounter. The fact that we were "doing something naughty" was such a rush, and that feeling carried over to when we got home that night." —L.H. and M.H., New York City; married 3 years

"My husband and I decided to play Sexopoly, which is just like Monopoly in structure, so it's easy to play because the concept is familiar. We drew fun 'Risky' and 'Frisky' cards that instruct you to do things like give a lap dance or kiss for a certain amount of time — I honestly haven't laughed that hard in a long while, but hey, it got the fires burning." —M.S. and A.S., Alabaster, AL ; married 4 years

"Whenever I'm in the mood I take a Post-It, write a sexy note, and hide it in my husband's coat pocket. Sometimes it takes him a while to get it, but when he does I eventually get a text and he's pretty much raring to go. It doesn't hurt that I'm already turned on because I'm thinking all day about him finding the note, so by the time we both get home from work we're pretty much ready to tear each other's clothes off." —S.L. and D.L., New York, NY; married 1 year

"The first time we did it, it was a little uncomfortable in the beginning. But then my husband giggled at one of the sex scenes and it completely broke the ice. Watching got us turned on, and we ended up having a pretty sexy time ourselves after it was all said and done. Hey, a little inspiration never hurts." —M.C. and P.C., Hudson, WI; married 6 years