The Pros and Cons of Swiping When You're Lonely During the Holidays

Whether you’re hometown holidating or legit just bored and haven’t shaved your legs for someone in a sec, swiping your thumb left and right on a dating app might be the remedy you need to get through a bout of holiday loneliness.

No, really. According to a new survey conducted by Dating.com, 86 percent of singles strongly agree that online dating is a good way to deal with sadness and being alone during "the most wonderful time of the year."

Then again, just because we think something is good for us, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is (see: Hot Cheetos, spiked seltzer, 2-in-1 shampoo...). That's why we enlisted the help of psychotherapist Jaime Gleicher, LMSW, to give us a run-down of the actual pros and cons of turning to dating apps if you're feeling isolated during the December festivities.

Pros

1. Dating gets you out of the house… and away from forced small talk with second cousins you didn’t even know you had. If staying home is not conducive to being in your best mood, matching with some good potentials and scheduling dates can give those feel-good endorphins a boost.

 

2. Remember, dating doesn’t always have to mean drinks at a bar. Try a walking date—like, to see all those adorbs Christmas decorations. Interested in seeing a new movie or going to a restaurant in your ‘hood? Nice, now you have someone to go with.

 

3. TBH, using dating apps is proactive. “It feels good to know that you are actively taking steps to change a situation,” says Gleicher. And if that situation is being lonely without a S.O., you'll feel better knowing that you are doing something about it, rather than placing it on your Christmas wish list and watching it just chill there.

 

4. If online dating is something you’ve been doing for a while, don’t break your routine just because you're in the funk of all funks. Push yourself to continue on, even when you’d rather opt for guzzling wine and bingeing Netflix.

 

Cons

1. You may be extra emotional, which could lead to impulsivity—aka, sleeping with someone you aren’t ready to sleep with because you just wanted some company. “We tend to be more impulsive the more intense our emotions are,” says Gleicher. Understand where your strong feelings are coming from and how to best address those before you hop into bed with someone new.

2. If you haven’t been dating regularly, it’s probs not best to start now. Your feelings of anxiousness, sadness, loneliness, and/or depression won’t just magically go away with the swipe of a finger. Opt for other alternatives, like catching up with old friends, instead of jumping into a ‘ship because you’re lonely and need some attention.

3. Expectations will be heightened, especially when rom-coms are peaking, #couplegoals are ice-skating, and mistletoes are legit everywhere. If your goal of dating is to go out, have fun, and meet someone new, great. But if it’s to find that special someone you’ve been yearning for your whole life, chances are that may not happen.

4. “You may not need a romantic partner to cure loneliness, but instead just a friend,” says Gleicher. In which case, consider an app like Bumble BFF, where you can connect to other people platonically to make new buddies. Besides, a new friend can be way better company than a potential fuckboy date anyway.

 

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