Dating advice I’d give my best friend navigating her first relationship in her 20s

One of my favourite things to do is give advice. More specifically, give advice to my best friend about her next boy or rather, her first boy ever. To give you some context, one of my best friends—smart and beautiful, but slightly unrealistic expectations of what “prince charming” looks like IRL—has never dated anyone. She’s 23, and no, I’m not judging her for it. I just don’t think anyone who’s crossed her path has been right for her, which is probably why we’re still very much on the hunt. 

We have weekly calls (part mental health check-ins, part boy updates) where we share every little detail or inconvenience we encounter, boy or no boy.

Now here's something about me. I’ve had a few boyfriends, maybe a few more than my mademoiselle best friend. And while I sometimes turn to her for advice or help to draft the perfect text to the boy of the season, I have some advice to offer while she searches for her perfect match.

Now just so you know, this is not expert advice. Just the musings of a girl who loves to talk, give relationship advice, and wants her best friend to find the right guy, like, yesterday. So here's what I would tell her.

Ditch the idea of “perfect”

Yup, there's no such thing as the perfect boy. Perfect, in reality, means someone you genuinely like and who treats you well—full stop. It’s nearly impossible to find brains, beauty, body, behaviour, best friend approval, brother’s stamp of approval, and the “best boyfriend” badge all in one package. Accept that no one is flawless (you’re not, and neither am I), so why expect him to be?

Communication is queen

Open communication isn’t just important; it’s everything. Especially as a first-timer, bottling up emotions will only make things harder. That doesn’t mean handing him your diary every night, but it does mean speaking up when something bothers you, and yes, acknowledging the good stuff too. Honesty makes things smoother, easier, and way less complicated. The more you say it out loud, the less it weighs you down.

Drop the worst-case-scenario mindset

If you’re prone to a little insecurity (guilty!), it’s easy to jump to conclusions. But here’s the thing, boys can be pricks, yes, but not every delay or plan change is a red flag. His football game running late doesn’t mean he’s at another woman’s house. A long chat with his mum about their family holiday doesn’t mean he’s secretly plotting to ghost you. That said, if the excuses start piling up, you know who to call.

Master the art of listening

Speaking your mind is important, but so is tuning in, and I mean really tuning in. Pay attention to the small details: the things he dislikes, the people who put him on edge, his least-favourite dessert. Sometimes, all a boy needs is an ear, and being the person he can turn to without hesitation can make all the difference. Listening isn’t just about being present in the moment; it’s about remembering and responding to what you’ve heard, showing him through your actions that you value what matters to him.

Don’t rush things

Take your time. There’s no medal for getting to every relationship milestone first. You don’t need to meet his family right away (and yes, I say this as someone who loves a good living room family chit-chat), dive into intimacy too soon, or make him the centre of your universe by month two—again, guilty as charged. Let things unfold naturally, at a pace that feels right for both of you. If something feels too fast or leaves you uneasy, speak up early. A little patience now can save a lot of heartache later.

Have fun

If there’s one thing I can confirm, it’s that despite the heartbreaks, disappointments, and occasional ego bruises, I’ve had so much fun with every boy I’ve been with. Relationships are meant to be full of love, laughter, friendship, cuddles, companionship, adventure, and yes, even mistakes. So lean into it. Go on spontaneous dates, make ridiculous inside jokes, leave a party early for some midnight madness, cry when you need to, laugh until your stomach hurts, buy his sister a necklace from your family vacay. Hold the relationship for what it is without forcing it into something it’s not, and don’t tiptoe through it in constant fear. Be free, be present, and let yourself live a little.

It’s honestly the best kind of entertainment seeing your best friend in love—suddenly showering her boyfriend with more affection than she’s managed to give you in the past 19 years of friendship. There’s something so pure about watching someone you love find their person, even if it means you’re now third-wheeling your way through a lot of drives!

I’m still eagerly waiting for my best friend to meet the man, but until then, this little guide is my love letter to the messy, magical chaos of modern dating. The truth is, love isn’t just about finding someone to grow old with—it’s about finding someone you can grow with, whether they’re in your life for one chapter or the whole book. And while you wait for your forever, make sure you’re enjoying the right now. Have the adventures, make the mistakes, stay up too late talking about everything and nothing, and let yourself be surprised by what love can look like. Because in the end, the best stories aren’t always the longest; they’re the ones you live with your whole heart.

Lead Image: IMDb

Also read: What is the black cat boyfriend?

Also read: Why the black cat girlfriend is the internet’s favourite romantic anti-hero