Here's how to not obsess over your crush

Just loosen the reins and enjoy the process.

13 April, 2024
Here's how to not obsess over your crush

I've been struggling with this for quite some time now; the moment I start talking to someone and find myself beginning to like them, they're all I can think about. I catch myself replaying our conversations in my head, wondering if they're feeling the same way. And let me tell you, my friends were really tired of hearing me go on and on about this new guy I'm talking to. So, they called me out, and thanks to them, I realised that my obsession might be a tad unhealthy, maybe even a little problematic.

Don't get me wrong, crushing on someone is an amazing feeling, but when that initial spark turns into non-stop daydreaming and obsessive thoughts, it can be exhilarating, terrifying, and well, a little crazy! 

So, how do you deal with those intense feelings and turn your crush into something real, without going off the deep end? Here are some ways to help you break free from the obsessive loop and build a healthy connection with the person who's captured your attention.

Shift your focus 

Instead of dwelling on every interaction with your new crush, focus on your own life. Pursue your long-lost hobbies, hang out with friends, and prioritise your own well-being. A fulfilling life makes you a more interesting person and takes the pressure off the fledgling connection.

Write down your obsessive thoughts

Your obsession will just go away the moment you suppress it. Instead of bottling up those obsessive feelings, embrace them. Grab a journal and write down everything that comes to mind. Putting your thoughts down on paper allows you to process them in a safe space. This can help you better understand and work through your obsessive thoughts, as well as give you something concrete to look back on for the sake of identifying patterns in your thinking.

Live in the present

Don't jump ahead to happily ever after. Consciously try to be present in the moment. Savour the moment—the shared laughter, the awkward first date (we've all had them!), etc. Building a strong connection takes time and shared experiences. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone for who they are; not who you imagine them to be.

Establish boundaries (if you’re overdoing it)

If you find yourself checking their social media every five minutes, try and take a step back from social media altogether. Give yourself some space to breathe and focus on other things. This doesn't mean you ghost them, just give the communication some breathing space for a natural flow.

Try and embrace the unknown 

It’s okay to loosen the reins sometimes! That's the beauty of a new connection; the discovery, letting go of your need to control the narrative. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone for who they truly are. And don’t rush it. If it is meant to be, it will fall into place naturally!

Also Read: How to turn a situationship into a real relationship

Also Read: Here’s what your love language says about you