How long should you wait for the boy you're seeing to ask you out?

They said good things take time…

07 November, 2025

How long should you wait for the boy you're seeing to ask you out?

So, I’m going to need your full attention here because I have a lot to say. I’m proud to be part of the much-talked-about Gen Z—often accused of being casual, low-effort, unserious, and non-committal. Now, I’m not saying I’m the only person in this generation who might have a panic attack at the sound of these words, but let me preface this by saying: I’m none of the above. In fact, I'm quite the opposite.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get to why we’re here. Love and romance in 2025 are complicated, but honestly, they don’t have to be. It’s only as complicated as you let it be. Personally, my love life isn’t complicated; I just have a few pressing questions. Firstly, I’m not a fan of the word situationship. I'd prefer to put it as: we’re “seeing” each other. So yes, I’ve been seeing this absolutely amazing guy for a few months now, and everything feels right—we're exclusive, there's good communication, lots of affection, trust, and security.

No complaints, right? That’s what I thought too...until month five. As we cruise into a cosy, cute month six, I have to admit…I’m a little confused. The confusion is simple: why am I not his girlfriend yet?

I don’t doubt that I will be his girlfriend. But then I wonder, if I’m so sure about it, why hasn’t it happened yet? And that brings me to the real question: how long should you really wait for a guy to ask you to be his girlfriend (if you've already been seeing each other for a while)?

Now you need to know that everything between us has unfolded naturally, one step at a time. From late-night phone calls that stretched till sunrise to gym sessions, and spontaneous weekends together. Basically, it’s been easy, comfortable, and honestly, really special. So even though I didn't have the label yet, I kept reminding myself that he’s worth waiting for. My friends didn’t always agree—they threw in the occasional “don’t let him take you for a ride”, and while I get where they’re coming from, sometimes it feels like the situation moves on his terms. I do speak up when it does, but then comes the tug-of-war between not wanting to seem “too much” and not wanting to silence myself out of fear of losing him.

And that’s when I started asking myself—what are we, really? Because when something feels this good, you start wondering if it needs a name. Which brings me to the big debate—does the label even matter? For me, absolutely. A label isn’t about possession; it’s about clarity and comfort. It means I won’t spiral when he goes off the grid for hours on a safari with friends, or feel uneasy when he’s not checking his phone on a family trip. Being the girlfriend comes with a sense of assurance—of knowing where I stand and not constantly second-guessing if I’m being too invested, too emotional, or too hopeful.

When I asked a few of my girlfriends what they thought, they echoed the same sentiment. Labels give direction—they define boundaries, bring emotional security, and help you understand what kind of dynamic you’re in. Without it, you’re basically operating on assumptions, and that uncertainty can eat away at your peace. As one friend put it, “People say they hate labels, but then flirt with half the internet—that’s not a relationship, that’s a situationship.” I couldn’t agree more.

I’ll admit, I’m exhausted from giving vague answers every time someone asks if I’m dating someone. My default response, “I’m seeing someone,” doesn’t quite cut it anymore. I want the comfort of saying “my boyfriend” without hesitation, without overthinking if I’m reading too much into things.

But clarity doesn’t always come easy, especially when you’re stuck somewhere between casual and committed. That said, not everyone you meet is worth waiting for—and that’s something only you can decide. Because yes, some men will keep you hanging, armed with excuses about being busy or not ready, as if they’re running entire nations. But I’ve also realised that sometimes, you just need to talk it out. Communication, as cliché as it sounds, really does solve half the confusion.

There’s no magic number—three months, six months, or a year won’t mean much if you’re both not on the same page. The real answer? Wait as long as it feels right and mutual. If the connection is genuine, consistent, and communicative, time becomes secondary. But if you’re constantly left wondering, feeling undervalued, or afraid to ask where things are going, that’s your cue—it’s already been too long. The right person won’t make you guess. They’ll make it clear.

For me, I’ve been lucky. I finally chose to have an honest conversation about where things are headed and what we both wanted. It’s not perfect, but it’s transparent, and that’s what matters. I’m not here to be convenient or available only when it suits someone—I value being respected and understood. I also love being a girlfriend, and I know I’d be a great one.

So, to 'mister not named' in this story—if you happen to be reading this, I’m patiently (but not silently) waiting for that question, and when you’re ready, you know where I'll be!

Lead Image: Pexels

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