The first-date outfit crisis is real, and men need to do better

The dating-app outfit crisis is REAL, and I have questions.

Because explain this to me. A woman will start planning her date-night outfit days in advance. What will she wear? Which jewellery and accessories will go with it? Are the shoes comfortable enough to walk in but still look good? Is the makeup too much, too little or just right? There is a fair amount of planning involved in looking like you haven't spent three hours planning your appearance.

And her date? He's put on a T-shirt.

Not even a nice T-shirt. Just a T-shirt.

The worst part is that some men genuinely believe they've dressed well because the T-shirt is black. First date? Black T-shirt. Dinner at a nice restaurant? Black T-shirt. Your birthday? God forbid he switches things up with navy blue. At this point, his wardrobe has fewer plot twists than a predictable Netflix series.

And don't get me wrong, nobody is asking men to turn up in a tuxedo for a casual coffee date. We're not expecting a red-carpet appearance. But there is a rather large gap between looking like you've made an effort and looking like your mum asked you to run a few errands on the way home.

And no, we're not saying all men. But enough of them seem perfectly comfortable treating a date like an ordinary Tuesday, and I have to wonder why. You managed to find the perfect lighting for that bathroom mirror selfie, got the angle just right and made sure your chiselled jawline was doing its thing. So why can't some of that energy go into getting dressed?

We're not asking for a stylist, a personal shopper or a complete wardrobe overhaul. A well-fitted shirt, clean shoes, a decent pair of jeans and a little grooming can go a long way. A full-length mirror would help, too. And if you're still unsure, ask a female friend for an honest opinion. Just make sure she's actually being honest and isn't secretly planning your wedding in her head.

And before someone comes at me with the “women should love men for who they are” argument, please relax. Of course, personality matters. A kind, funny man who treats his partner well is worth far more than someone wearing designer clothes who thinks emotional availability is a personality trait. But can we stop pretending that making an effort with your appearance is somehow superficial?

If you're going on a date with someone, isn't it nice to look like you were actually looking forward to meeting them? Dressing well isn't about wearing expensive labels or conforming to some impossible standard. It's about showing up looking like you gave a damn. If you genuinely can't be bothered, at least be honest about it.

Here's a note to all the men, since most of them probably won't be reading this anyway: consider this a public service announcement from whoever sent you the link. Retire the five-year-old T-shirt. Give the gym shorts a day off. Buy a shirt that actually fits. And, for the love of everything, stop acting like putting on a decent outfit is a legally binding commitment to marriage.

You want a woman who makes an effort? Lovely. We want a man who does, too. It's called mutual effort, gentlemen. Look it up.

Featured image: IMDb