Why erotic fiction may be the answer to a great sex life

“You’re mine,” Grey whispered aggressively. “All mine”. I gasped a little, my body doing things I didn’t completely recognise as I read on. Christian Grey had me in a chokehold when I first read the book that I’d secretly borrowed from the local library and devoured under the covers one late evening. The Fifty Shades trilogy by EL James is as close as I’ve got to reading erotic fiction so far (of course it looks like it will change post this piece). And though I have had no desire to be treated the way Anastasia Steele was, I have often found myself going back to the dog-eared pages of the book. No matter the count of re-read, they leave me with butterflies, a craving for intimacy, and, let’s be real, more, more feelings down under than I ever set myself up for.

Turns out, all these feelings I was feeling are kind of really important markers for a thriving sex life. Studies in psychology and literature even reveal how reading erotic fiction might actually be good for your relationship. “With the right erotica you can put yourself in the driver’s seat and use it to create your personal sex manual. When you are clear and ready, you can share it with your partner,” says Pallavi Barnwal, sexuality coach and founder of sexual wellness platform Get Intimacy. “It can bring a sense of playfulness into the relationship,” adds Karishma Swarup, a public health professional and sexuality educator. “It can definitely rekindle a spark in the relationship, just because it’s a new way of exploring sexuality,” Of course, we decided to go down this smutty rabbit hole to know everything about how to turn up the heat with erotic fiction.

SEXUAL LIBERATION, ONE PAGE AT A TIME

“Once I was reading Archer’s Voice in a cafe, fully in the zone, and when I hit that part (IYKYK), I straight up choked on my coffee. I had a coughing fit, my eyes watering, and people were looking at me like I was dying. I had to pretend I just swallowed wrong,” shares Tanvi Khandoliya, a serial erotica reader.

We have all grown up in a sex-negative culture, where our perceptions about sex were narrowly defined and negatively informed. This has further been exacerbated by patriarchal values that disallowed women to seek pleasure—whether on their own or in a relationship.

The same can be traced in literature. Erotica has had a messy and controversial history (remember Henry Miller?). Yet, its comeback in the form of Mills & Boon novels in the 80s, and the more recent revival on Bookstagram (Instagram’s section dedicated to books), has paved the way not only for women to reclaim their sexuality but also for the rise of queer erotica, offering narratives that explore a broader spectrum of sexual and romantic identities. As of 2023, the sales of romance and erotica books reached 39 million, according to data-provider Circana BookScan.

“I think great erotic writing can truly capture intimacy without a gaze that makes readers feel queasy or uncomfortable,” says Swati Daftaur, a former executive editor of fiction at HarperCollins. When Sunny Leone wrote her first erotic book, Sweet Dreams, comprising seven short stories, she knew she wanted to write it with a feminine gaze. In an interview with India Today, she said, “I used a softer tone to describe the intimate scenes versus what guys like, which is something more explicit.”

Reading erotic fiction brings forth a layer of sensitivity that appears to be lacking in watching erotica or porn. “Porn can be extremely violent—so can erotica. But mainstream pornography can be overstimulating for a lot of people and make them feel upset and sick,” opines Dr Tanaya Narendra (aka Dr Cuterus). “It also portrays a certain body type and paints a very clear, often unrealistic image in our mind about what we are supposed to be attracted to and what sex should look like,” says Swarup. Erotic fiction can change that.

“When you’re reading something, you’re actively having to think about it; you’re being more visceral and cerebrally involved,” says Dr Narendra. Reading erotica means you have the freedom to decide what your characters are going to look like... fill in the missing details.

“Erotica has helped me embrace my desires without shame. It has reinforced the idea that intimacy is about communication, emotional connection, and mutual pleasure, rather than just physicality,” says sex ed content creator Simran Balar Jain. In fact, several studies reveal that the more women read erotic literature, the more they’re able to explore their sexuality. In fact, according to a study conducted by Harold Leitenberg in 2022, women who read romance or erotic novels have 74 per cent more sex with their partners than those who don’t.

SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE

There are several reasons why reading smut literature is actually good for you. As we mentioned earlier, it’s a safe space for you to explore your sexuality. Reading erotica can ease you into the experience of sexual arousal. Barnwal draws on Dr David Schnarch’s Quantum Model (QM) to explain how our bodies respond to sexual stimuli like erotica. Erotica can help you understand the amount of mind-body stimulation you need. “Pleasure begins with self, and erotica allows people to feel their sexual desires with both mental and physical effort,” suggests Barnwal. Add to that, if your partner is reading erotica to you, it stimulates your sense of sound, and sometimes just a steamy story with minimal touch can get you going. “I’m really into erotic fiction,” a Reddit user writes, “when I told my partner, she started gifting me books because she enjoyed the effect it has on me.”

Long-term relationships often come with the highs of being hot and heavy and the lows of going through a slow burn. Either way, losing the spark you once had in a relationship is normal. And there are ways to bring it back. If you haven’t given erotic fiction a try, here’s your sign. “It engages your

emotions and inner thoughts more deeply, fostering empathy and a greater appreciation for emotional as well as physical connections,” says Jain. “It becomes a shared experience between two people,” adds Swarup. “My boyfriend and I would be excited to hear about what kind of smut literature the other was reading, because it gave us new ways of seeking and giving pleasure. On many occasions, we would read smut before foreplay,” posts a Quora user.

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN GET STARTED

Are there any keep-in-minds? Always. Reading erotic fiction might not be everyone’s cup of tea—there’s no single formula for building intimacy. “The only type of couple I wouldn’t recommend erotic fiction to are those who are reading it to have one specific outcome. Go into it with a mindset of exploration, otherwise, take a pause and stick to more familiar things,” says Karishma.

To those inclined towards spicing up their relationship through steamy stories, keep in mind: Erotic literature is still fiction—don’t let it influence what your body or relationship dynamics should look like. Barnwal also notes it will take you some time to discover which genre and style appeals to you.

“Some of the stories and themes might be uncomfortable or even triggering to read for some. Keep an eye out for content warnings,” cautions Swarup.“Finally, communicate, communicate, communicate. If you are trying to introduce something new to the relationship, talk to your partner, assess their comfort levels before you do it, while you do it, and after.” Oh, also, don’t forget to have fun and feel the heat.

 

This article originally appeared in the March-April 2025 print edition of Cosmopolitan India. 

Images: IMDB, Pexels, Amazon

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