It's our birthday, which means it's time to be sexier than ever! From foods for your libido to crazy-hot moves, join us on an alphabetical tour of all you need to be a sex goddess.
At Cosmo, we get tonnes of questions about anal sex, and it's usually got to do with how painful it is. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not super-elastic or selflubricating. So, to enjoy anal sex, you need to take it slow and use plenty of waterbased lubricants. Since your butt is not used to having objects inserted into it, the muscles that encircle the anal opening will automatically clench when you try to penetrate it. So, you have to learn to relax them. Have your man get you warmed up with foreplay, then delicately massage the outer rim of the opening. When you're ready, have him slip his finger in, only as far as is comfortable, before graduating to the next level.
"Despite the name, it should never feel like a job," says Ben Rogers, co-author of Going Down: The Instinct Guide To Oral Sex. "You have total control; just seeing your head down there is a thrill for him. As long as your teeth aren't raking over his flesh, you can do anything and he'll love it." In a poll conducted by Cosmo, guys rated their top sex moves, and the number-ones were grabbing his butt cheeks and digging in with your nails while going down on him or putting the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, so his penis hits the underside of your tongue- making him feel like you're taking him all the way in.
Fact: most women don't reach an orgasm through intercourse alone, which is why the clitoris is your sexual best friend. To locate your 'joy button', feel for a small fleshy formation located slightly above the opening to your vagina (think 12 o'clock). Once you've found it, ask your man to try different techniques-rubbing, stroking, pressing down, licking-to figure out which ones you love best. If you find that direct stimulation hurts, ask him to apply some lubricant to his fingers.
Don't know what to say? Start simple by saying any sentence sexily. For example, "What do you want to do now?" can be said as a breathy "So...what do you want to do now?" Or say this simple, powerful line, which drives men mad: "I'm coming!" Being a great lover is a prime source of pride for guys, and saying this is the ultimate accolade. Ready for Level 2? Fill in the blanks here: "I love it when you [verb] my [body part]". Or whisper in his ear exactly what you're going to do to his body, before doing just that.
According to Dr Catherine Hood, Associate Sex Specialist at St George's Hospital, London, "The average penis size is 5 inches erect, but as only the first third of the vagina has much sensitivity, anymore is wasted. If your partner has a small penis, a good position is spooning, as this gives deeper penetration."
According to a guy poll done by Cosmo, here is a list of things that will send him into a downright dizzy:
a) Drawing circles around his nipples with your tongue so they get hard-then gently pulling at them.
b) Putting your palm over the tip of his penis and massaging just that area, like it's a doorknob.
c) Giving him a hand job while barely using any pressure, so you have a light grip on his penis.
d) Taking his hand and pressing it against your underwear so he can feel how turned on you are.
True story: the G-Spot is an extremely hot spot which can cause strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and female ejaculation. Can't find it? Lie on your back with your legs spread and knees bent (like when you're at the gyno's), then ask your partner to insert his (lubricated) middle finger and curve it back towards himself once it's inside you (imagine it as a 'come here' motion). The spot should feel a little rough, almost like the surface of a walnut, and once he's found it, have him move his fingers back and forth for a pretty amazing time.
There's a reason why E.L. James' 50 Shades Of Grey did so well-bondage is hot! While you may not want to go the whole whips-chains way, some handcuff action can be very erotic. Next time things are getting sexual, hold his hands above his head, and hancuff them to the bed (a scarf or rope will do the trick, too), then work your way around his body, before taking the girl-ontop position.
"I Want You Now"
are the four words that are an instant turn-on for men. "That line, out of context, when he least expects it, triggers his desire instantly," says psychotherapist Stephen Johnson, Ph.D.. "When a guy is erotically surprised, it actually causes his brain to release endorphins and neurotransmitters like norepinephrine and dopamine that affect his mood and put him in a physiological state of arousal." In addition, because the phrase is so blunt, it taps into racy fantasies that most men have about raw, spontaneous, animalistic action.
Terry Molnar, Executive Director of The Fragrance Foundation and the Sense of Smell Institute, says that "scents that hold a spicier, herb-like overtone, like jasmine, cinnamon and roseroot, are closely related to feelings of arousal and selfconfidence. Often, when we experience intimate situations, we build a strong emotional association to the scent. Wearing a perfume or body spray that has those spicy overtones can help peak those emotions."
Fact: these simple pelvic floor exercises increase muscle strength, which, in turn, can boost your orgasms! To do, imagine you're trying to hold your pee, and tighten your pelvic muscles for five seconds. Release, tighten, and release again, working up to 20 sets, twice a day.
This slippery stuff can seriously up your chances of reaching mega orgasm! Since your natural wetness can decrease at times due to a variety of things (for instance, stress, and medication), adding a lubricant helps ease the penetration process, so sex is pleasurable, not painful. Lube can be effective even when you don't have dryness. It boosts sensation for both partners and allows your man to thrust longer and harder without causing you any sort of discomfort. Simply apply it to both your hot spots before sex, and sit back to enjoy the smooth sensations.
When Cosmo asked guys for their top sex position, 35 percent picked classic missionary. Here's how to spice up the man-on-top position: once he's inside you, have him shift his body up towards your navel so the base of his penis and pelvic bone press against your mons (the fatty pad of tissue on top of your public bone) and clitoris. Then, instead of him thrusting, rock your bodies against each other in a backand-forth motion. With a few minor adjustments, you should hit the clitoral jackpot.
Fact-sexy lingerie can turn men to mush! That's because guys are visual creatures, and seeing you in cheeky stuff makes him respond in a primal way. And while all hot lingerie does the trick, some pieces do even better. In a recent poll, the majority of men said black lingerie is the sexiest of them all, followed by nude, pink, and red (surprise!)
A study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine has found that you're more likely to climax if you try different sex moves, rather than sticking to just a few. Here's a list of techniques that guarantee an orgasm. Sit him down, and straddle one of his legs. As you make-out, rub your clitoris against his thigh. Take his penis in your mouth, and go all the way down on him. Get into standingdoggie position, take his hand and press it against your clitoris with your hand on top to ensure you get the exact pressure/movement you need. Finish off things by moving your legs closer together-the extra-tight fit will make things more intense, pushing you both over the edge.
Sure, impromptu sex is hot, but if you're both just not finding the time for some action, it's smart to schedule nookie. Let him know you have a sexy surprise for him on a particular day of the week, then build anticipating through the day with sexy texts.
A quickie gets your adrenaline rushing, releases pent-up lust, and shows him just how much you want him. "Sometimes guys want to take their time, and sometimes they just want to get their rocks off," says William Fitzgerald, Ph.D. When you're in the mood, don't fully undress-just pull his penis out of his boxers and push your panties aside. All you need for successful speed sex is lube, which'll tackle any dryness in an instant.
Role-playing isn't about winning an Oscar; it's simply a way to spice things up. The beauty of role-playing is that you get to be anyone you want, which can help you explore your wildest fantasies. Next time you're feeling adventurous, tell your guy that you're ready to indulge him in his desire and discuss what roles you'd like to take on. A few suggestions: employee/boss (his assignment: to follow your erotic orders); artist/nude model (let him sketch you striking the perfect erotic pose); professor/student (he punishes you for bad grades); a couple of virgins (act coy and take it super-slow).
You just read about 'planned sex', and now it's time to learn the opposite. Spontaneous sex is extra steamy, primarily because it's unexpected. Some tips to try: wake him up in the morning with some oral action (start slow, and then when he opens his eyes, pick up the pace); get into the shower while he's already there, and take turns giving each other a soapy rub-down; ambush him as soon as he walks through the door from work; or, while you're both watching television, give your man a foot rub that gradually becomes a calf rub, a thigh massage, and then, a full-blown hand job.
Research shows that women have more than one erogenous zones, that make them feel aroused during foreplay. Apart from the vagina, lips and breasts, the uncommon ones are the back of the knees, the inner thigh, the wrists, the nape of the neck and ears. Ask your man to breathe on your neck or lick the back of your knees. The inside of the thighs are highly sensitive to touching, stroking and licking. Just like the back of the knees, inner thighs also have many nerve endings, and will turn you on like crazy.
'G' isn't the only pleasure-giving alphabet around-now experts are talking about the U-Spot, which is rich in nerve endings. So where is this U-Spot? At the opening of the vagina, just north and to the sides of the urethra (where we pee from). Ask your guy to gently caress this area with his finger, tongue, or the tip of the penis, and prepare for an unexpectedly powerful erotic response. Tip: since the U-Spot is extremely sensitive, a little lube could make things even better.
Don't own one? Try this: with the setting on low, sit on the edge of your washing machine, and wrap your legs around his waist as he enters you. The vibrations from the machine will act like one big vibrator!
Guys love this-he gets to see you in full-frontal glory, and you're most likely to achieve orgasm through it, too. To master Woman-On-Top, have him lie on his back and straddle him with your knees on either side of his hips, or squat over him with your feet flat. Slowly lower yourself onto him, and move up and down to build momentum. Or, rest your torso on his and grind him from side to side or in circles.
X-rated entertainment has become a hot topic of research. A Harvard study found that Utah had the most online porn subscriptions per every 1,000 broadband users. Another research done at Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana shows that the body part that men focus on while watching porn is the woman's face, especially her eyes and lips, and not her breasts or vagina. That's news, right!
Yes, Yes, Yes!
What's the number-one way to have an amazing time in bed? Actually enjoying it, that's how. Letting yourself go in the bedroom makes sex not only better for you, but also for him (guys get more turned on when they know you're into it). So don't hold back on the moaning, biting, scratching, and, most importantly, asking for what you want.
The Zen Pause sex position is a little secret that can turn any session into a deeper, erotic experience. When on the brink of the Big O, take a break from whatever heart-pounding position you're in and try this: both you and your partner should roll onto your sides, face-to-face (if possible, have him stay inside you), then put the passion on a low simmer with legs intertwined and chests pressed against one another. Slowly build back up to an even more incredible climax.