​"When Did Labels Replace Love and Daddies Replace Lovers?​"

Why women today want a 'finished product' of a man...




​Remember the good ol' days when people fell in love? Girls would lie to their parents and arrange secret rendezvous' with their less-privileged lovers. Love and fresh air was the diet plan, and parents were people to be fooled and avoided. 

Love truly did conquer all. Girls from rich families were happy to leave their parents and start a life with the man they loved—without all their daddy's wealth. In some cases, the husband would go on to become even more successful than their own fathers...and in some cases not. But the fact of the matter is, these girls had balls.

They were not scared to fight for love, even if that meant giving up their Impalas and slumming it for a few years. The '70's were the era of saat janam and sacha pyaar. Nowadays, however, the only sacha pyaar we feel is for our pedigreed dogs and limited edition Valentinos.

These days, women are not looking for love, they are looking for younger and sexier versions of their fathers. They want to marry a young fun loving 30 year old, but with the wallet and lifestyle of a 60 year old.

How did this happen? When did labels replace love and daddys replace lovers?  For starters, girls these days are raised very differently from the way they were in the past. With unlimited access to cash, global exposure and no deadlines or restrictions the eagerness to get married at a young age is now history. 

We have the luxury of boyfriends, lovers, hook-ups and whatnot, all at our door step without having to make any effort. A wise woman once said, 'Why bring a pig home when you can get sausage for free!' This is the mantra of our times.

Our lifestyles are no less than that of a spoilt heiress with non-stop parties, holidays, Chanel bags and Dior friends. Our doting fathers keep us in a bubble of luxury and financial security which is  impossible to step out of after a certain age. 

Most of our friends live in the same bubble, shackled in Chopard diamonds. The only 'love' we are exposed to is on the big screen, enjoyed exclusively on the luxurious seats of 'Gold Class'.

All this is great...until you hit your thirties and realise that there is only that much alcohol your liver can process and only those many limited edition bags you can buy. Shopping sprees aren't that much fun as you already have everything worth owning. 

Suddenly, it dawns on you that there is more to life than champagne showers, private jets and holidays in St Tropez. You try to find that 'perfect man' who will love you like Romeo while driving a Porche—but sadly, he does not exist.

Can you blame these girls? Parents spoil them silly till they are good for nothing, and then expect these 'handicapped' beauties to run the matrimonial marathon. Crippled with the toxicity of wealth-induced dependancy, these girls cannot even think of marrying for love. 

The thought of being demoted from First Class to Economy, and from five-star to a three-star is highly depressing. These girls are looking for a big, fancy wedding with absolutely zero change in their lifestyles. Not having worked for a single day in their lives, they are absolutely disconnected from reality, without a clue about what one needs to do in order to fund this lifestyle.

These days boys who are considered 'finished products', courtesy their family wealth, are very much in demand, as opposed to smart, independent, intelligent, hard-working, ambitious men with great potential. 

The latter might not be able to afford a private plane and a semester-long honeymoon, but God forbid there is an actual crisis later in life, he will have the brains and perseverance to support you. Also, he is busy earning money and making a name for himself, which reduces the chances of infidelity.

On the other hand, the heir you would rather marry, who does no work, has unlimited free time, will take you shopping at 3 pm on a weekday, fly you to Rome on his private jet because you feel like eating Italian, have a six-pack because he spends four hours at the gym everyday—will, at some point, most definitely stray, or at least think about straying. Why? Because free money leads to boredom, leads to chasing after a thrill. And what's more thrilling than sleeping with a woman who's not your wife?!

Having said that, these lucky men endowed with family wealth are still the first choice for most girls from affluent families. I guess it makes sense. Who wants to be part of a fascinating growth story when you can marry into money and spend all day spraying champagne on each other? 

(All views expressed in this column are made with first-person discretion, and are of the author Sakshi Salve who is an independent contributor to the magazine. Sakshi Salve is the acclaimed author of The Big Indian Wedding.)