Are you really stepping into your CEO era or just crashing out?

Your Pinterest boards have been maxed out since 2015. From detailed vision boards of a London girlie lifestyle, a fashion journalist in NYC, to a Wall Street mindset, you’ve basically nailed it all. Your presentation deck looks like Pinterest downsized its staff to work exclusively on your boards. And your Google Calendar? Euphoria’s makeup team would approve.

To anyone sane and untrained, you seem like you’re three LinkedIn posts away from giving a TED Talk on hustling. But inside? ChatGPT doubles as your researcher and therapist, your notes app is dangerously close to overdrive, your grocery lists read like a survival guide of cereal and sugar-free Red Bull, and there’s a 97 per cent chance you’ve ghosted social gatherings with the classic “I’m swamped right now” excuse. And that’s just the tip of your simmering insanity—oscillating between Phoebe Bridgers playlists and Lana Del Rey vibes, while your laptop keyboard bears the evidence of tears, and your walls, the aftermath of frustrated fists.

Welcome to Girl Business 2025, where burnout is productivity, and breakdowns are your new character glow-up.

Stage 1: Girlboss or girl, you’ve lost it

Are you actually stepping into your CEO era, or just mistaking your Canva Pro vision board (Pinterest-sponsored, obviously) as a sign of success?

If your LinkedIn bio reads ‘aspiring thought leader’ or ‘productive dreamer,’ remember: your most profound thought this week was probably, “Speak to me before my iced coffee and you will meet a monster.” And let’s be clear—crashing out over a deadline while surviving on 47 minutes of sleep and more Red Bulls than a calculator can count isn’t “productive dreaming.” It’s anxiety masquerading as hustle.

Results: Mentally exhausted but blasting “Diva” by Beyoncé? That’s not girlboss energy—it’s unhealthy and a flop.

Stage 2: The Pinterest trap

Now, I get it. Pinterest is the Olympus for dreamer girlies, and yes, it’s beautiful. But even Pinterest, despite being nicer than other social apps, ranks medium-to-high on the breakdown-inducement scale. You’ve spent the last 35 minutes curating your desk—MacBook open to a spreadsheet, a notebook you bought an hour ago, oat latte with vanilla (bye, bank account), and a Bath & Body Works candle that gave your wallet a minor aneurysm. Then you post it, and your fellow productivity-forward girlies hype you up.

Behind the grandeur? You’re in your mom’s pyjamas (homesickness has joined the party), overthinking that Teams glitch where ‘asset’ became ‘ass.’ Girl, you need therapy… and a weekend’s worth of sleep.

Stage 3: Crashouts becoming LinkedIn material

I’ve run the numbers. If your breakdown:

- Happened in front of your bathroom mirror after three sleepless nights.

- Was over a deadline you could normally finish in an hour, but you’ve overthought it for two weeks.

- Included a mini-aneurysm thinking about networking with people you barely know.

- Was succeeded by a LinkedIn post on work-life balance? 

The results are unanimous: you’re not in your CEO era, you’re in your caffeine-sponsored chronic crashout era. You probably haven’t even gone grocery shopping in the last few months, and Zepto and Swiggy comprise the only men who show up with emotional support known as food (which you also paid for). 

Reversing your crashout

To reverse your crashout, detox by ditching Canva Pro as your therapy substitute, take Ariana’s advice—“No tears left to cry”—and stop burning the midnight oil, and set actual boundaries: if a flaky situationship or emotionally unavailable “bestie” is sabotaging your workflow, cut them off—they’re not your co-founders.

Crashing out sometimes is normal—it means you care. But when it becomes frequent and comes at the cost of your well-being, it’s time for intervention. Being a CEO isn’t Pinterest stationery or a wardrobe straight out of Clueless. It’s having your mind and body intact while you conquer the world. Remember: crashouts are only fun if you actually put in the effort to not have them happen again.

Lead Image: IMDb

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