What’s really going on with sex scenes? According to our new data, not what you’ve heard

At Cosmopolitan, we respect the sex scene. We watch them, we make lists of our favorites, we argue about which are hottest. We know what makes a scene scream and what makes us cringe (for example, that phone sex in And Just Like That…). We understand that a good one isn’t just two attractive people hooking up; it’s a chance to learn something about our own desires and intimacy itself.

To be clear, we’re talking specifically about sex scenes in movies and on TV shows, and as perhaps the ultimate aficionados, we can tell you: They’re going through a...moment. In 2023, research from the UCLA Center for Scholars and Storytellers prompted a flurry of internet conversation about young people’s sinking appetite for onscreen sex (sensational headlines also used the study to proclaim that Gen Z is “turned off by sex” altogether, although the actual findings were much more nuanced, as we report below). Then, the following year, data from analyst Stephen Follows published in The Economist showed that the volume of sexual content in movies has fallen nearly 40 percent since 2000, setting off a new round of think pieces. Some pundits theorize the latter is because explicit content has largely moved from theaters to streaming platforms. Others argue that our increasingly puritanical government’s fight to ban pornography is seeping into big-screen entertainment.

Whatever the reasons, the shift is palpable. And it’s not just about numbers or platforms but about types of sex scenes. “We are not seeing bigger theatrical releases made for adults anymore,” says Jason Lynch, curator at the Paley Center for Media. Mostly gone are the days of Basic Instinct– or Fatal Attraction–type steam. Instead, explains Lynch, “we’re seeing Sex Education and The Sex Lives of College Girls that are completely about sex but have a level of depth and tell a full story. There’s an appetite and openness to shows like these aimed at female audiences.”

To which we say, yes, there’s a reason the Bridgerton series occupies not one but two spots on Netflix’s most popular shows of all time list. (And has been dubbed the “sexiest show ever” by Cosmopolitan.) We know for a fact that viewers, young or otherwise, haven’t turned away from craving spicy entertainment. We know because you told us so.

Over the summer, we conducted a survey asking people if, how, and when they like to watch sex scenes. More than 450 of you over the age of 18 responded, with an overwhelming majority (86 percent) saying you are seated for onscreen sex. Fifty-five percent wish there were more sex in film and on TV, and 22 percent are so into these scenes that you rewind and rewatch your favorites.

Even across generations, your answers remained steadily pro sex scene. Although we can’t help but point out that 71 percent of Gen Z respondents had watched something specifically because it included hot sex (so much for being “turned off by sex”).

Honestly, same. We’ll admit we recently drooled over Nicholas Galitzine and Anne Hathaway’s hotel sexcapade in The Idea of You, felt peak lust as Zendaya initiated a three-way kiss in Challengers, and shivered when Saltburn and Fair Play showed us women receiving oral sex. We’re looking forward to doing the same while watching Outlander: Blood of My Blood on Starz and season 4 of Bridgerton on Netflix. And also, eventually, while taking in the screen adaptations of increasingly sexy mainstream fiction novels like Emily Henry’s Funny Story and Rebecca Yarros’s Fourth Wing.

But despite all of this enthusiasm, the question remains: If we are largely still yearning for onscreen sex and our favorite fictional characters are still getting laid, why are some people convinced our culture is taking a cold shower?

It could be that we’re just collectively over tired tropes of the past. You know the kind: a gruff man, a reluctant (or downright unwilling) woman, gratuitous nudity over a pulsing soundtrack. (If you need an example, see all the sexual violence in Game of Thrones.) Today, to “really enjoy” a sex scene, you told us it must feature consent and intimacy. Lynch backs this up: “If you’re just relying on nudity and you don’t have a full story, people aren’t going to be interested.”

And while the vast majority of respondents in our Cosmopolitan survey love and appreciate sex onscreen, that’s not the only thing people are into. Sometimes a chaste, supportive hug communicates more than a passionate kiss ever could, and for fans of such platonic connection, there’s “nomance.”

The label made a splash after the UCLA study on young people’s viewing habits found that most adolescents would rather watch movies or TV shows about platonic versus romantic relationships. It was and still is a welcome reminder that friendships dominate some of our favorite entertainment. Recent hits like Derry Girls, Ginny & Georgia, Yellowjackets, and Hacks have the occasional romantic or sexy plotline, but it’s their core platonic relationships that satisfy viewers the most.

Not only does this speak to asexual and aromantic viewers who might be less interested in horny storylines, it also feels true to life. After all, as Sex and the City taught us more than 20 years ago, love and sex may come and go, but friendships are often the most important relationships in our lives.

In other words, the sex scenes people want are the ones that feel right for them. For example, 74 percent of Gen Z respondents in our survey said nudity isn’t a prerequisite, while 90 percent said emotional sex scenes are key.

And so, we celebrate our love for sex scenes—where they’ve been and where they’re going, the ones we can’t forget and the ones that helped us grow, and the fact that they exist at all in a moment when sexual expressions of all kinds are under threat. Do we get a little sweaty thinking about them? Yes. And that’s entirely the point.