Why we can’t stop fixing ourselves (even when we don’t need to)

If you've scrolled through Instagram lately, then you know the algorithm. Five minutes in, and you’re flooded with “it girl” routines, glow-up challenges, and productivity hacks that promise to transform your life. Somewhere between 5 am workouts, 10-step skincare routines, and endless book recommendations, self-improvement went from being a choice to a lifestyle mandate.

On paper, this obsession sounds harmless. Wanting to do better and be better is hardly a bad thing. But when every moment of your life feels like an opportunity to optimise, it gets exhausting. You’re no longer just living—you’re performing at being the “best version of yourself.”

The treadmill effect

Psychologists call it the treadmill for a reason. The more you “improve,” the more you notice new flaws. You eat clean for a week, then feel guilty for skipping one gym day. You build a morning routine, then panic when you sleep in. The cycle is endless, and ironically, the harder you try to grow, the less satisfied you feel.

This cycle isn’t accidental. The self-help industry thrives on it. Think about it: there’s always another journal, another app, another vitamin pack promising to “unlock your potential.” The industry is worth billions because it keeps selling you the next fix, never letting you feel like you’ve arrived.

Scrolling your way into self-doubt

If the self-help aisle in bookstores wasn’t enough, social media sealed the deal. Every scroll is a reminder that someone out there is “doing life” better. They meditate before sunrise, run side hustles, and somehow manage to look good while doing it. Even if you know it’s curated, it still sparks comparison.

For Gen Z, who are growing up entirely online, the pressure is heavier. It’s not just about grades or career anymore—it’s about aesthetic routines, perfectly organised notes, even mental health practices that look Pinterest-ready.

When improvement becomes punishment

Here’s the tricky part: improvement is supposed to make you feel good. But for many, it turns into punishment. You start believing rest is laziness, that skipping one habit makes you a failure, that you’ll never be “enough.”

Take journaling as an example. For some, it’s healing. For others, missing a day feels like breaking a streak, as if mental health now has a scoreboard. What started as self-care morphs into self-criticism.

Here’s where the plot twist comes in: maybe the real flex isn’t constant upgrading. Maybe it’s being okay with who you already are. Self-acceptance sounds cliché, but it’s powerful. It doesn’t mean giving up on growth; it just means not measuring your worth by how many habits you tick off.

Think of it like this: improvement should add joy, not stress. If a routine energises you, keep it. If it makes you feel guilty when you miss it, maybe it’s not serving you. Growth doesn’t have to be another full-time job.

The balanced approach

So how do you break free from the treadmill? Start small. Celebrate progress instead of obsessing over perfection. Replace “I should be doing more” with “I’m proud I did something.” Take breaks without guilt, because rest is productive too. And remember, your identity is bigger than your to-do list.

Self-improvement should empower, not exhaust. And maybe the boldest move in a culture obsessed with “better” is to stop chasing for a moment—and just be.

Lead image credit: IMDb 

Also read: Has self-care become just another thing to tick off your to-do list?

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