You Need to Know This About COVID-19 and Survivor's Guilt

The impact of the second wave of COVID-19 has forced many of us to undergo many traumatic events. The oxygen shortage, the healthcare system on the brink of collapse or battling the loss of loved ones to the virus from a distance, the pandemic and ensuing chaos has taken a toll on everyone's spirits. 

One such psychological impact of the pandemic is the survivor's guilt - feeling emotionally distressed about surviving a horrific event when others couldn't. This cocktail of guilt, anxiety, and helplessness afflicts many of us who have lost our friends and family to the virus. 

"People are doing everything possible to find a bed or suitable treatment for their COVID-positive friends and family. But sometimes, that is not enough and they end up losing their loved ones to the virus. Then, the pandemic protocols prevent you from attending funerals. The guilt of not being able to say goodbye or your inability to do more for your loved one can be unsettling for most of us," says Sitender Sehrawat, mindfulness teacher and founder of Mindful Souls. 

Anxiety, frequent headaches, extreme anger, irritability, insomnia, feelings of fear and helplessness, lack of motivation and sometimes, suicidal thoughts, are some of the symptoms that you could be experiencing survivor's guilt. 

Also read: COVID Anxiety: 10 Signs to Watch Out For

Sitender adds that while it is natural to want to blame someone or even yourself for this unfortunate situation, it will not help you control your emotions of anger, guilt and revenge. 

So, how can you cope with these negative feelings? For starters, accept your negative emotions and try to process them. You can talk about these feelings with your trusted friends or even professionals. Practising mindfulness techniques can also soothe and heal your emotions. Here are his suggestions to help you ease your mind:

Own your guilt

Living through a pandemic that has taken a toll on people's finances and health is not easy. "You need to reassure yourself that you did as much as you could or the situation allowed you to do. There are always things that are beyond our control. Let go of your regrets and be kind to yourself. Have the courage and patience to forgive yourself if there was something you could do but weren’t able to. These are unprecedented times and no one has a manual on how to handle it," he says. 

Forgive yourself

"Forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free. You no longer carry the burden of your mistakes. Take an example from yet another traumatic historical event, the world war. After World War II, the city of Brookings in Oregan, United States forgave the Japanese fighter pilot who bombed and destroyed their city. As a token gesture, they accepted a 400-year-old Samurai sword offered by the pilot as a final surrender. To err is human, to forgive, especially yourself, is divine and brave." 

Be the change you want to see

Write, sing or draw your guilt. Then, use it as a tool to do good for others. Not only will random acts of kindness help others around you, but they will also give your mind a much-needed reassurance that you are doing your bit to make the world a better place.

Live one day at a time

Memories from the past and desolation of the future encompass our present moment forcing us to become numb. Living one moment at a time is the best way to make things better. Disconnect yourself from the future, the past and just breathe. 

Mindful exercise: Set a reminder for every 5 or 10 minutes to bring your awareness and thought back to the present moment and focusing on things you are doing even if you are doing nothing. In the Buddhist tradition, a gong is used as a reminder to come back to the present moment. But you can set a tone on your smartphone or computer if you like.

Share your pain

The greatest human trait is our ability to communicate our thoughts and feelings. Sharing your pain with others and listening to other's pain mindfully gives us a sense of togetherness. As we learn about other’s pain we feel a sense of gratitude for ourselves. There are situations where people have lost more than one of their members. Knowing that we are still fortunate to be spared of that disaster will give you more reasons to feel grateful. After all, life is about what you have than what you had. Be grateful for everything you still have.